This was an entertaining ecxhange between two unusual characters.
Your Opening
The openin is intriguing because you don't immediately know why the narrator is going on stage.
Characterisation
Both of the characters here were very funny in their opposing natures, one self doubting and nervous, the other very self assured.
Things I liked
The two characters, who rely on each other heavily, both feel the need to be better than the other; the real star. Something seen all too often in people.
Room for Growth
At first it was unclear whether the dummy was another character or a voice in the narrator's head. This would be clearer if maybe the dummy's lines were italicised.
Closing Thoughts
I liked this story, you worked well within the confines of the contest guidelines but I do think some distinction is needed between the narrator's thoughts and the exchange between him/her and the dummy.
You made good use of the prompt to write an entertaining and unexpected story.
Your Opening
You took an interesting approach to the opening as the character of the referee isn't that likeable.
Characterisation
It actually works very well that the characters remain represented by their shorts and chin. It's very entertaining.
Things I liked
The way the race unfolded was very funny, from the guy in the red shorts running himself out to the eventual finish of the third guy.
I liked the strong sense of irony in the ending.
Room for Growth
I found it odd that the runners were betting on the outcome of their own race. I couldn't help but feel that the two losers may have done so deliberately, thus having the moral win for not taking the prize.
I've probably overthought this, but if it's a hundred yard dash that would suggest a straight track. It therefore seems strange that the betting takes place at the finish line, as the runners would then have to walk the 100 yards back to the beginning, wearing themselves out before they start.
Another thing that didn't ring true to me was the description of the runners having "chicken legs." This is a description usually applied to people with extremely skinny legs, leading to the comparison to chickens.
Closing Thoughts
I think this is a good story but the points above distracted me a little. I know they might seem like petty niggles but sometimes the magic of a story is in the tiniest of details.
This is a clever piece which takes a completely new approach to the subject of mother's day.
Your Opening
Your opening is witty and paints a good picture of Mrs Oura as a worrying, over protective mother. The dialogue works well here to draw the reader in to the story.
Themes
Family is a strong theme here, as is that of children surprising their parents.
Charecterisation
Your characters are well developed in a short space of time. The over reactive, worrying, quick to think the worst mother. The laid back father whose happy to let things develop before judging them and the resilient child who goes about things his own way.
Things I liked
As well as being sentimental this is also very funny. Mrs Oura's dialogue and actions were a constant source of amusement.
I loved the way Mrs Oura was always fretting about dirt being brought in to the nest. Almost as if she had to hoover and dust and things.
Room for Growth
I don't think I'd change anything about this piece.
Closing Thoughts
This is a well written, witty and original story. Well done.
This is a lovely sentimental piece that many parents could probably relate to on some level.
Your Opening
Your opening is effective in communicating the sleepy contentedness that the narrator seems to be feeling. Everything is calm and safe and as it should be.
Themes
In a short space I think you manage to touch on many themes, but predominantly that people always seem to remember the little things and it's the little things that make life what it is.
Charecterisation
Whilst short you manage to characterise what seems to be a happy and secure family that brings the narrator much joy.
Things I liked
The piece is soft and anecdotal, making the reader feel as secure as the characters that they're reading about.
Whilst the language is simple you manage to convey a lot of emotion.
Room for Growth
There's not really a lot I'd change here. In your first paragraph you have "cuddled on" when it might be more common to write "cuddled up on". Might just be me though.
This is a well written, original flash which takes a couple of unexpected turns, keeping the reader on their toes throughout.
Your Opening
Your opening paragraph is very descriptive and visual. It's easy to picture the scene in your mind and you build up a lot of atmosphere.
Themes
Recurring nightmares are always interesting in that things are never what they seem, as is the case with this piece. I'd like to say more here but fear I'd give the twists away!
Things I liked
In your descriptions you cover more than just the visual senses which helps to build a fuller picture of the scene.
The twist at the end is cleverer than most as you make the reader think the twist has already come and gone.
Writing in the present tense from a first person perspective adds an extra element of tension to the piece
Room for Growth
All of the things I found are little niggly things, rather than problems as such.
You're mising the word "had" from your item description.
In paragraph three you have "vigil with", i wondered if this might work better as "vigil at". I realise this might cause problems with the movement aspect so perhaps "my eyes keep a vigil at..."
In the fifth paragraph you mention "white-knuckling". There's nothing wrong with this as such but the tone of it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the piece. It seems a little too colloquial.
In the sixth paragraph you break from present tense by saying your teeth ground. I think this should really be grind.
In paragraph eight "captive" doesn't seem like the right work as it suggests being captured and detained when what you seem to be dealing with is a form of paralysis.
Closing Thoughts
I think this is a well thought out piece which cleverly invites the reader to guess ahead with no hope of predicting the ending. The tension builds well and you make the reader relax before throwing the final twist at them, making it even more unexpected.
This is a cleverly constructed poem which clearly states your message to yourself.
Things I liked
I think your rhyme structure is very clever, though some might miss it's subtleties. Having the non rhyming statement followed by rhyming couplets makes it feel more natural than had you rhymed all of the lines.
The repetition of the title really gives a sense of wiping the slate clean and moving on with life in an optimistic manner.
You make some very positive statements here that many could learn from.
Room for Growth
Overall the poem has good rhythm but there is the occasional line which seems to break the mould and has a few extra beats. Shortening these up a little would help with the flow of the poem.
Closing Thoughts
This is a very strong poem and I only hope that everyone can appreciate your chosen rhyme structure which is clearly deliberate and really lends itself to your words.
I liked the overall sentiment of this piece, as described at the bottom. It's always good to remember friends, even if you've moved on from each other.
Your Opening
You open the piece with a very long sentence which is quite hard to digest all in one go. You might want to revise this and break it in to a couple of shorter sentences.
Things I liked
You obviously hold your friends in high regard, which is important. You also show an understanding of the way time changes things.
Room for Growth
I'm not sure if it's a stylistic choice, but a lot of your sentences seem to be missing words. (Presumably it should be "look way ahead in the future" and "drown in an ocean" to give a couple of examples.
In the last paragraph of the main body I think you mean swept and not slept
Closing Thoughts
I liked the emotion and intent behind this piece but grammatically I think it needs a little polishing. Given your reasons for writing this though I would understand if you wanted to leave it as is.
You really are very passionate. I've listened to remixes of songs I love and hated the new versions, but I've never felt so strongly as you do, it's quite admirable. It's also something that few artists since the Beatles have inspired in their fans.
Your Opening
As always, your opening is very strong and clearly paves the way for the rest of your piece. You immediately set down what you're writing about.
Things I liked
I really loved the depth you went in to in this piece. You give a very detailed and, for the most part, balanced view of the background to this release. I really don't know how you hold all of this information in your head.
Again, this essay is stronger in form than the two I've reviewed previously and also takes on a more formal tone which I think strengthens your arguments. At the same time though, you manage keep the light hearted comments flowing which helps to break the piece up a little and give it a natural feel.
You make good use of song references to communicate your points, allowing the reader the chance to listen along in a way.
Room for Growth
There's very little I'd change about this piece. There was one sentence - "Recording equipment had to be brought in because their flunky's planned 72-track studio had not worked out, but they were happier in the new environment." I read this about four times and just couldn't get it to settle in my head. I wasn't sure on the meaning of "flunky's" and the sentence also seemed to be trying to say too many things at once.
Towards the end you had a few jabs at McCartney. I understand the rift in the band and the reaction from the fans and your feelings are valid on this. However, the rest of your piece was so balanced in giving the different view points of the band members that I thought it was shame you flipped towards the end.
Also, I managed to spot a typo (just the one). Second to last paragraph you have "release" when I think you mean "realise".
Closing Thoughts
I'm not a Beatles fan but I'm glad I read this. Your passion comes across in your writing which makes it really enjoyable to read. I've also learnt a few things which I can drop in to conversation to impress my friends!
You obviously have some very strong opinions about Beatles music appearing as originally intended. Remastering and remixing is a bone of contention with many artists. I remember hearing a reworked version of a Frank Sinatra song and it had lost that lovely gravely, grainy texture which helped to create it's magic. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't meant to be.
Your Opening
Again, you open your piece well, clearly defining what you're going to discuss and why. There are a couple of long sentences here though, which could possibly read easier if they were broken down in to shorter ones.
Things I liked
I think you go in to a lot more depth here, than in "Invalid Item" , and this piece also displays more of a traditional essay structure. Each paragraph flows as a natural progression from the one before.
As well as taking in to account what fans might want, you also discuss how the band members could feel about any changes that might be made.
I also liked that you referenced particular songs as examples. This allows readers who aren't as familiar with their work to go and experience what you are talking about.
Referencing classic painters was a brilliant move as it helps to show the situation in a diffeerent context that some readers might be able to relate to more.
I also enjoyed reading about the mistakes that they decided to keep. From what I know about John Lennon his music was almost a religion for him so this made me think of when people deliberately make mistakes in things they make and do so as not to be perfect, as they believe that only their deity is perfect.
Room for Growth
I think you have the potential for a little more referencing here. When you discuss the painters it reminded me of the reaction when the digitally remastered Star Wars films were released. There was a clear divide in opinion between people who had watched the original releases when they were young, and those that had seen the films years later. This was something that people reacted very strongly to and referencing it here would give another good context of comparison.
George Martin. Anyone alive probably knows the names of the Beatles themselves, but might not be familiar with George Martin. I'm not a Beatles fan and I think the only reason I know who he is is because he lives a few miles down the road from me and my dad did some chaffeur work for him. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have a clue who he was, so it might not be a bad idea just mentioning the work he did with the Beatles.
Also, Dolby 5.1. I know that's got something to do with sound and sound quality, but absolutely no practical knowledge of what it really is and does so when you mentioned it here I don't think I could truly appreciate the implications of what you were saying.
Closing Thoughts
You've obviously done a lot of reaserch because this is a topic you're passionate about, which is really good. Though, you sometimes fall in to the trap of thinking everyone will know things that I think of more as specialised knowledge, such as the Dolby issue. This is an easy trap to fall in to, but thankfully easily fixed with the odd sentence or two explaining things.
Your poem really made me chuckle. It's original and witty, and although a little unusual you can imagine a kid aproaching pet ownership in the way that Romain does.
The rhythm of the poem was very strong and bouncy, though a couple of lines seemed to break the pattern a bit. For example:
"Where he gladly ran back to his lioness and child." This line seemed a little too long when compared to those that came before it.
One other thing was the rhyme structure. You start off with very hard rhymes, and in comparison the assonances you use feel a little out of place. (cold/alone, frog/of).
Thank you for sharing this piece. It was uplifting and I really enjoyed reading it.
This is a good start to what could grow in to a much longer tale - I hope it does. You've started to build a sense of intrigue which can be built on and extended.
Your Opening
You don't have the strongest start here. By this I mean that you don't drag the reader right in to the action, choosing instead to lead them in quietly. Though this can be viewed as a weakness I actually like it here, it helps to build the tension slowly.
Things I liked
I like the unusual twist that you added to the fantasy element - a mage with memory problems. This was original and fresh.
Galabrads confusion is well communicated. The reader is aware that he is not only lost, but completely at a loss as to how he even got to where he is.
I also like the name you have chosen for your main character. It is in keeping with the fantasy genre but is not silly - well done.
Room for Growth
I found myself wanting to know why Galabrad was suffering from short term memory loss, though realise this may be answered in later chapters. Is it an actual disorder that he is suffering from or something more sinister and magical?
You have a few typos in this piece and whilst they don't detract too much from the overall effect they do take it down half a notch. Especially as the first one appears in your very first sentence. (Quite instead of quiet - which wouldn't be picked up by a spell check). It's always an idea to proof read for typos such as this.
On a visual note - things are a lot easier on the eye on WDC if you place a line between paragraphs. Nobody seems to know why but without that space things on here just seem a bit clumped!
Closing Thoughts
Despite the above points I enjoyed reading your story and will be checking out the following chapters. I think the story shows a lot of originality and promise and I can't wait to find out how Galabrad escapes the wolves.
This is a really interesting piece. It holds its own as a self contained story but would also be really good if it were expanded in to a longer story - presumably with this part falling somwhere near the end.
When Krix died I'm guessing he took Balen with him? It doesn't state it explicitly but gives that impression afterwords and I wasn't quite sure.
Dark Lord - Bit too soon after Harry Potter for me, made me think of Voldemort which distracted me from the story you were telling.
I love the way you jumpt straight in at the action and end in peaceful silence.
You're dead on the 55 words - which isn't always easy.
Consider putting an "Invalid Item" link to the contest at the bottom of the piece. It won't take up as much room as a bitem link and will help to put your work in context and gain more exposure for the contest.
I liked the opening of your piece. I always find it interesting when people open with dialogue and I actually loved that the speaker and his words were so mundane.
Technically I did not spot any errors, your spelling and grammar seemed fine. Also, punctuation seemed to be in the right place at the right time.
Unfortunately, as soon as you introduced the poster I clicked that Tim was probably going to end up eating his dog, which spoilt the ending for me a little. Perhaps it would have added more intrigue if he had actually ended up with another dog's tag in his mouth and been left wondering whether his dog had met a similar fate?
Is 4.55 good? I think I've read too many of these because I found a lot of them before I even looked at the list!
This was fun. Didn't spot any spelling mistakes - which is good. You also included a couple of his lesser known titles.
Whilst IT is undoubtedly one of his better known creations I think it might be an idea to leave it out hear, the word it appeared so many times in different places. Finding the right one was a real chore!
This is a good start and I think with a little tinkering it could be very good.
Some of your lines seem over long and with a little adjusting become more rhythmic with clearer meaning. Doing "the right thing" - not worth the cost. Climb upon the steps where you once stood Would you walk the same path as yuo walked before Knowing you will ever long for something more.
I hope you don't mind me making these suggestions, they're not meant to offend.
This is a very dark and despairing bit of free form verse that expresses a lot of pain, anger and bitterness.
Your first line is a little problematic and I couldn't help but feel that it would read more correctly as: "Where is the purpose of this malody for which my sole has been tainted?" I know it's a little longer but it seems to make more sense.
In the edit item screen you can add different genres to your piece. It does seem like a chore at times but can help to add exposure to your work as well as giving the reader an idea of what your piece might contain.
I liked the sentiment of the piece and could almost imagine myself there with you!
The rhythmic flow of the piece is a little jumpy, there is a wide variety of syllables in the line which give it a stuttery feel. This is particularly so in the first two lines. Perhaps in the second line you could alter it slightly to "relaxing and drinking my iced tea".
The line "to see who is this young fellow" feels forced to accomodate the rhyme scheme. Perhaps something along the lines of "I was greeted by this fellow." Sometimes changing word order to accomodate a rhyme works, sometimes it doesn't.
Great start though, keep up the good work. I'd love to hear more about Gary Free.
This is one of those strange stories that is uplifting, even though you know it shouldn't be - if that makes sense.
I found it easy to read and did not spot any obvious mistakes.
That said, I found the wording of the note a little unbelievable. Given the circumstances under which he was leaving her I think he probably would have been a little more sensitive. After all, he's leaving her because she's barren, not because he doesn't love her anymore.
As I was reading I expected the twist to be that she had got a really bad job that wasn't worth all of the stress and worry but your ending was much funnier than that.
The confines of flash fiction don't allow you to tell the reader what made her so nervous and panicky, which is a shame, but Sue works well as a character all the same.
I liked the sentiment of this piece and that you took the time to write it - so many people overlook the hours we spend sleeping, forgetting that this is when our dreams come to life.
The imagery of "abyss of darksome tranquility" is very strong but at the same time I felt it a contradictory explanation. It makes the tranquility feel deep and scary, which it shouldn't be.
There were a couple of points where it felt as though words had been left out, perhaps to pander to the rythym of the piece?. . .
This is an interesting poem that takes a new look at an old muse - fate. The sentiment is strong and defiant, showing that you have no intention of bowing to it.
Typo fairy strikes: Beneth instead of beneath.
What do you mean by claut? The only reference I have been able to find to this word is that it is an Italian Municipality?!
The lines of the poem felt a little long to me, especially those that had thirteen beats. It may be an idea to compact your lines and maybe have more of them to give the piece a better rythym.
Linked to this, all of the lines are of similar length which can give the piece a flat feel. Open yourself to the idea of having a rythmic pattern:
I'm not saying you should use this pattern, it's purely an example. The point is that you can have a strong rythym without it flattening the words beneath it.
This is a briliant poll question. When thinking of inspiration and influence people automatically think of music, television and what's going in their own lives. Why does everyone forget weather
Something to bear in mind when looking at the results would be the possible reasons for the answers given. . . Is rain top of the list because people are inside and bored or is top of the list because it's atmospheric, each raindrop bringing a new idea in to the writer's mind?
I enjoyed reading this poem; whilst the circumstances may not be the same for everyone, the feelings expressed are, sadly, very common.
Your poem tells an interesting tale of growth and the pains it brings. Lost hopes, wondering regrets.
*esclaim*Occasionally you have a line which seems forced and this can upset the flow of the poem. A good example of this was the first line of your last stanza. Whether it was the inclusion of a contracted word I'm not sure but the line felt very juddery and stuck out from the rest of the piece.
Keep an eye on your punctuation. In the first sanza you use a full stop when a comma or semi colon would be more appropriate and the use of double hyphens just seems unnecessary.
Keep writing and growing.
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When Krix died I'm guessing he took Balen with him? It doesn't state it explicitly but gives that impression afterwords and I wasn't quite sure. 
Dark Lord - Bit too soon after Harry Potter for me, made me think of Voldemort which distracted me from the story you were telling.
You're dead on the 55 words - which isn't always easy.
Unfortunately, as soon as you introduced the poster I clicked that Tim was probably going to end up eating his dog, which spoilt the ending for me a little. 
