Hello there,
I found the title of the story very interesting and full of potential (and humor). Indeed, there are traces of humor/sarcasm all over the opening scenes of the story, which made it more enjoyable to read.
I also feel like you have done a great job with characterization here, I got a very good feeling for both brothers and their parents as well as how much of a cohesive and loving family they are.
And indeed, Adrian did feel like a loner, so I am excited for what is to come.
I do have a few remarks though, if you’d indulge me, that might help finetune some of the structural and plotline aspects of this prologue.
Some of the sentences could be structurally tighter, for example:
“Looking at her son who was still sleeping, Mrs. Walker gently and carefully grabbed something from the dirty pile of clothes. With a smiling face, she gracefully threw the stinky sock as she would throw a football straight to her son’s sleeping face.”
Here Mrs. Walker acted “gently, carefully and gracefully” and we were told twice that the son was sleeping. Removing “gently” and the “sleeping near the end” would make for a smoother read.
And again here:
“She could not finish talking as her face seemed to be covered with the very same sock she just threw.”
“Seemed” here gives the impression that this was not really what happened, it just “seemed” like it. But given that it was exactly what had happened, I would suggest removing “seemed” to tighten up the structure.
The same goes for this: “During breakfast, his mom and dad continued to chatter normally, talking about stuff old people would usually talk about. However, Adrian felt that someone was missing.”
He “felt” even though it was not subject to any doubt and discernible through the senses not feeling or intuition. “Realized” might be a better alternative here.
“Sitting down at the dining table, Adrian’s father held his cup with a picture of their family printed onto it, and took a sip of coffee. Hearing the commotion upstairs, he continued to wait as if it was just a normal daily occurrence.”
Nice detail with the family picture on the mug!
The structure of the second sentence though makes the narrator feel detached and slightly uncertain, “As if it was just a normal daily occurrence,” does the narrator not know whether this was a daily occurrence? Why “As if?”. If a detached narrator is not what you’re going for then I would suggest switching that into a more assertive form: “he continued to wait, after all, this was just a normal daily occurrence.” Or you could be less on the nose with this and go for something like: “he continued to sip his coffee, unfazed.”
The tone of the narration is also something that needs to be considered here. From the beginning of the story up until halfway through the second scene we get a third person narrator. However, here:
“Tuning out my mother’s rant about my poor morning behaviours, I pondered what my big brother was doing so early in the morning. However, looking at the time, Adrian’s inner school nerd wanted to quickly finish eating and prepare for school earlier than he usually does. After all, his mother always woke him up at around 6:30 AM, but school started way later at 8AM. This made him grumble a lot, but as his parents also set up a bedtime for him and his older brother, and strictly peeked at him sleeping every once in a while, he actually felt energized when he was woken up.”
We get Adrian’s POV with a first person narration. However, this does not continue and the narration keeps shifting between first and third person. This makes it very inconsistent. I understand the need to switch narration in scenes where Adrian is not around, however, if you choose to showcase these scenes then it is important to stick with third person narration and not switch back to a first person account of Adrian’s thoughts. The reader needs to know who is talking to him, the tone of the narration needs to be consistent throughout.
“*Sigh* Why is Adrian such a good little detective? He figured out our birthday plans for like the 3rd time last year...”
I strongly advise against using the asterisks. You could say “she sighed.”
And there were a few sentences that were confusing, rendering it difficult to fully understand the intention behind them:
“Seriously, even the girl who looked like she wanted to stab everyone she met looked like a behemoth-turned-nice. Seeing her wave at us with a happy expression, the brothers waved back, seemingly perplexed at this unknown human being. As she walked away with a cheery expression, they let go of their held breath and felt relieved.”
There is a lot happening in this sentence and given that the girl character was not properly established before this, her turning nice is of no significance to the reader and the “behemoth” part and the part where they let go of a breath we didn’t know they held, made it difficult to keep track of everything that is happening.
And again:
“As he and his brother were pretty much a little bit above average in terms of…well everything, from looks to grades, they were pretty much hard to notice. Still, this did not stop them from avoiding risks and getting caught up with other people’s relationships. After all, the only person they truly needed in this school was each other.”
Here the “above average” part made it seem like they would be easily noticeable and admired. But then “this did not stop them from avoiding” threw me for a loop. Did they avoid? Did they not avoid? How does being above average factor into that?
On another note, the conversation between the brothers about Adrian’s sexuality seemed genuine and heartfelt.
A few areas plot wise though gave me some pause.
This prologue felt a bit aimless, there is no tension to be resolved. A loving family, an accepting brother and a few trips to the bathroom. The only real tension comes at the end, which is understandable given that this is the start of a story.
However, given that the reader does not know the characters yet and is not invested in them, paired with the fact that there is no tension, it becomes difficult to get genuinely interested in them. They’re nice people going about a regular day (until the last sentence). This felt like it needed a hook, something to keep the reader interested.
Of course someone who’s reading this after reading the main story might feel very different as they would be genuinely interested in the character they grew to love and they would appreciate a peek at his homelife. But for those reading it the other way around, a hook and some tension are much needed.
The abundance of bathroom scenes felt quite random and did not seem to really serve a function here.
And finally, them being 18 and over and still in school needs some explanation within the story. More importantly, they are still being treated like very young teens. Based on the mother’s treatment of Adrian I would have guessed that he’s barely 13. A mother treating an 18-year-old in this manner does not make sense, even if he’s been held back in school. Setting up bedtimes, peeking at him during the night to make sure he’s asleep, dragging him to the breakfast table, seeing him off to the shower! This is how you treat a child or an early teen.
More importantly his brother is older and is meant to be responsible. So, a guy possibly 19 or 20 who’s still in school and is considered responsible and used as an example for his brother to aspire to. This, again, does not make sense. So I would suggest either changing their ages, or commenting on this and explaining it within the story. Lamp-shading yourself might help justify this and make it more palatable to the reader.
This story has a lot of potential and I look forward to seeing how it progresses from here on out. The cross over into a parallel universe is sure to be intriguing. A few tweaks here and there could help this story reach its full potential.
Thank you for sharing your work!
Red,
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Welcome to Power Reviewers March Mayhem Review Raid 
It has been a very long time since I had to double back and re-read something just for the fun of it. Your poem got me smiling all the way through. It is very well written, and it has a very nice flow and an exciting rhythm. It's like one of those songs that warriors sing to raise their spirits before they go to battle. I don't know why but this is the impression I got. I feel like this could be the song that psychs writers up as they prepare to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard what with modern day technology and what not).
There are many things that I enjoyed about this. I like how catchy its rhythm is and I also like the rhyming scheme you employed. This piece also has a very quick pace. I found my eye instantaneously jumping to the next line which made this all the more interesting to read. Never a dull moment. 
But of course, what I enjoyed the most is the content.
The parallel that you drew between writing and dragon hunting was delightful.
This line is so interesting: 
Fall into Halloween Raid 