After reading this story, I became more interested in the world it presented. It makes me wonder how science went too far and caused humanity to suffer. That's probably the best thing short stories like this can do.
With that said, I feel it did a little too much telling instead of showing. I'll assume it's mostly because of the word limit you had to meet.
I'll start this off by saying, I didn't read the description and I was completely caught off guard by the fact the butler I was thinking of was actually a washing machine. Well played.
I don't personally see any issues with the story, unless you were intending for us to only find out the truth when it was explicitly told in the last line. It was easy to figure out around halfway in, but it only made me see and smile at all the puns you put in. To be honest, it's five stars just for the puns alone, but I may be biased.
Overall, excellent work.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fastdash
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 6:50pm on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
