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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/felisconcolor
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49 Public Reviews Given
51 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will not give a very structured review; It will be just me typing out what I think about the piece, generally how well I think it accomplished its goals, what I think the goals are, and also generally a couple of notes on possible minor tweaks to the piece to make it slightly better.
I'm good at...
Reviewing for poetic style and fluency. I'm also good at giving just an overall impression of how the piece will look to readers. For stories, character development and dialogue are my focuses. I tend to analyze for tone and diction as well.
Favorite Genres
For stories, I like fantasy, comedy, and philosophy. For poetry, I like anything to do with thoughts or emotion, including love, hate, anger, psychology, philosophy, and experience. I like nature quite a bit.
Least Favorite Genres
There's very few genres I don't like. If you make the writing interesting, I'll enjoy it.
Favorite Item Types
Poems are my favorite by far, followed by stories, then other static items. I'll happily review forums and In & Outs as well.
Least Favorite Item Types
I don't like chapters or whole books. Please, if you do request a chapter, make it the first one. If I enjoy it, I am likely to read the rest of it too
I will not review...
Chapters in the middle of a book, unless I've read the other chapters already. I review just about everything else.
Public Reviews
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1
Review of The Scenic Route  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Peter!
This poem speaks to my own sensibilities as an author. The juxtaposition of familiarity of feeling with novelty of sight keeps the mood of the poem somewhat serene. I don't know whether your intention is to keep it that way throughout the poem. If so, well done!

The rhythm is casual, which I personally prefer in poetry, though it does seem like there are places with "extra" syllables. For instance, the construction "I've no desire" in the 4th line is a bit awkward, as is the use of "different" at the end of the second stanza.

I gather there may be something of a pattern you'd wish to keep in lines 18-21 with the first word of each, but if I'm reading line 21 correctly, it would make more sense to move the word "straight" to the front of the line.

I really like the last two lines, and I think they make a great conclusion to this poem. I think the effect of "let this be mine" would be more impactful if it were being compared to others using church as a place of worship, rather than you not using it that way.

The first line in the second stanza is a bit ambiguous until the second line, as it could read as it's written or as a description of your feet as being heavy, both of which make sense in context. I happen to actually like that ambiguity, but if that's unintentional, it may be worth reexamining.

Overall, it's got great content and the extent to which the structure is consistent makes the poem stronger.

Keep writing,
Felix
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Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
In any case, it is a good poem. You're father meant a lot to you, and you certainly conveyed that very well. I'm sorry that you and your family had to suffer your father going through Alzheimer's. Terminal diseases like that are incredibly hard to deal with. Thank you for sharing this poem. your form, line breaks and all, were very well placed and carried a lot of impact. I'm impressed with your memory, and I'm impressed with your level of acceptance for the situation. I really wish I could have been stronger in some similar situations to this one. Well done, and by all means, write on. Beauty has it's station in pen and paper. (or keyboard and computer *Bigsmile*)
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Review of All Hallows Eve  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
My first thoughts were, wow, Derick is a jerk off. It's horrible to just reap the advantages of a death without missing a beat. That ending leaves just enough to the imagination to be satisfying. Thanks for sharing this piece. You're a great writer, so keep it up.
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Review of I Died  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I was a little harsh and unopened when I read this the first time, but upon learning your connection to this piece, I find this piece very respectable. You wrote with a purpose known to yourself, and that is the most respectable trait I feel a writer could have.
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Review of Invisible  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I feel that this reveals a truth about current human existence- we watch too much television. But I also see a deeper meaning in the poem, that your significant other doesn't pay any attention to you, and that would make me feel worthless. You're not worthless. Remember that. You're a great writer, keep it up.
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Review of Elsewhere  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Extremely spiritual, bravo. You've dug into the heart of poetry, getting at something that I think a lot of people are interested in.i don't look at that side of life enough, and this reminded me that I need to do that. Thank you.
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Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Okay, it's kind of creepy, but in a three little pigs kind of way. It makes the reader think, and is very intriguing for horror. I'm not into horror, hence the lower rating, but if I were, the rating would be pretty high. Nice cliffhanger, by the way.
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Review of The Jester  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. thanks for recommending this, it has very real emotions. While he loves what he does, he wishes he didn't have to jest all the time. In real life, there are things we do that we may love, but make us feel sad. We feel we're stuck doing them, and that weighs on us more than our love for the actions lightens it. Very real, better than the other poem, the name of which slips my mind right now.
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Review of Reclaim Love Lost  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Insightful, and truthful. I think this is at the heart of poetry, since you gave your emotions to the "paper." Also, a wise ideology, one that states how to not make that horrible mistake again, instead of just complaining about it happening. I'm kind of new, and I haven't read much on the site, but this is one of the better pieces I've read. Bravo.
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Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very intriguing perspective on life. I think maybe that's true, that time doesn't pay attention or give mercy. It is neutral, though. Sometimes time is a difficult entity with which to deal, if only because it is not consistent. Would prefer if it was, even consistently bad, because then I could at least plan for it. Good poem.
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Review of I Died  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
This seemed kind of pointless. Really uninteresting, actually. What was the point of writing this "story" anyway? That would be something interesting. I could understand if this was part of a story, but standalone, it is pointless. Don't just write to write. Write with purpose, especially if you're going to expect it to be reviewed, or just seen by other people In General.
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Review of How to work hard  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Is there a reason this is blank? Did you forget to write the essay, did you forget to upload it, did you create and not begin it? Is it a glitch? If it is, let the staff know. If it is a joke, shame. If you haven't started writing it, I suggest you do. If you don't plan on writing it, delete the item from your portfolio. I'm giving this 3 stars as to remain neutral toward the item.
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Review of Hobson's Choice  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Very intriguing. I wonder why Hobson leapt with Marrick? All in all, cool, and leaves room but for a sequel, but does not require it.
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Review of hair  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Is there some reference to zombies in this? It was a fairly good story, but I don't see the point, unless there's something more, like maybe monsters, or people you can't let in. It's not really specific enough to be clear. The only clear things are that you're alone in a root cellar, and that grandpa has some brain problem. Not things that can't be improved though.
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Review of Pegasus  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. That was remarkable. I never thought I would ever read a poem that deep. That was amazing. The poem was fluent, and I followed it the entire time. This is the only piece of writing I have given five stars, and it has been very well earned. Congratulations on that.
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Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a cool story, and it will probably be even better when it's finished. You slid the audience (well me anyway) into the story very easily. Bravo.
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Review of Now That’s All  Open in new Window.
Review by Felix O'Melany Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Expressive, and impressive, and nothing is hidden. The only criticism is that the language probably wasn't actually necessary. Other than that, good poem.
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