hallo Sara King,
I enjoyed your story incredibly, it's full of imaginition and yet credible, dialogs read like the Elmore leonard dialogs and that is definetly the max
i am going to have to read the rest of this story, as i'm a fan of the ganner and have respect for anybody who could master it which you definetly do.
Good work and excellent writing,
Regards, Firestone
Hallo nick Taylor,
I enjoyed reading your story. At first i had a Sherlock Holmes And dr. Watson deja vu feeling, i think the whole story could be better developed. By develope i mean it could be much longer, with more hints on motives, misleading the reader a little bit, that kind of thing.The surrunding description are quite detailed but i could have used more details on the murder scene.
I like that cooleness in that Kolak detective, the way he grasped the scene in the hotel room so quickly, in a way too fast, and immedietly folowing his leads the way he did. I also liked the start of the dialog between the two Nabraska guys..
I thought there was an exaggerated amount of words spent on hotel-rooms, doors clothing, the guy with the menue, the menue - that soort of thing, but it could have been in place if the plot was much longer, when you can read a chapter and rest, and than go back and not really mind another hotel room. I know it all goes around hotels and New York scene but still..
i was surprised by the mild behavior of the New York cops, especially in a murder scene, and a horrible one at that! As a former New Yorker i know they will probably be tougher about a crime scene, and why should mr. Kolak decide to famble the evidence?
I mean did he really think at the time that he'll find the killer so fast?
But than again i thought that was the beauty of the story that it did went faster than i imagined and with a result.. It would take Hercule Puaro longer and Sherlock will try more angles than Kolak ..
We are left with a kind of 'silent of the lambs effect, not knowing what the crazy french man Pierre is going to do next, i hope i won't dream about it tonight.
Good work, Firestone
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