replace was with the word is and you might find a more better flow......and it started out with some word I couldnt pro-nounce a sure fire way to scare off a potential reader.
where it says : Nowadays,( such and such ) WAS working as....
nowadays he IS ! he can BE nothing else for he is because he is NOW(adays)!
those two words can be your threshold, just as a character crosses a threshold into a world of self discovery such is the activating event of self awareness.
may the good energies be with you
fjames
i thought your essay was informative and well written
I found your work only slightly confusing, gathering from it the experience of one who finds comfort in conformity. And in my opinion this is good and well in society this will NOT do well in writing.
overall it was well thought out but alot of large words. You must speak to your listeners on their level.good luck!
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