"This is a reciprocal review on behalf of writetight, whom you were so kind as to have reviewed recently, and is in connection with "Invalid Item" ."
Well, let's get started.
Take me to the middle of the lake and lets stay there for a while. (first of all, lets should be let's with an apostrophe. The intro is very smooth and gently slips the reader into the peice.)
The second and third paragraph are very calming and really puts an emphasis on things by starting multiple sentences with the same words.
Its going to have to be you. (Its needs to be It's)
I want to stop feeling wronged, robbed, betrayed, lied to. (you need an and before lied. Unless taht is just the flow of the peice.)
The last two paragraphs are wonderful. I don't give out many 4's and higher, but your's is deserving of it. The only errors I found were two apostrophes and a missing and. The peice is very emotion and is very is for a reader to get sucked into it. Thank you for the wonderful read.
Feigh Keneigm
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/flo148
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:07pm on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
