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13 Public Reviews Given
33 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Irish Roots  
Review by Kevic
Rated: E | (4.5)
I do like this poem don’t get me wrong it does have a couple mistakes.

1. I sing favourite Irish songs in a bar, tell jokes,
Music, violin playing for me always evokes
Feelings from those almost forgotten times,
Lilting ballads, jaunty jigs, Ireland's rhymes.

“favourite” is spelled “favorite”

2. Irish jokes and laughter hide the passion in me
For the country of my birth, lying far across the sea.
Family gatherings there with music to the fore,
There's singing and dancing, all Irish to the core,

In poems like this you want to use commas for instance comma after me and before “for”

GREAT POEM!!!

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2
2
Review by Kevic
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like this story. It is small, and steady to read but put into the context this story has only one mistake of that I see so far.

1. I recalled his deep voice and dimples. It had been eight years ago and we had both been sick with tremors, nausea, diarrhea, and anxiety. Plus the feelings of ants crawling under your skin. These and many more were all symptoms of withdrawal from addiction. It puts people on an even playing field, a respecter of no man or woman, garbage collector or physician.

Plus the feelings of ants crawling under your skin. Should have a comma before it not a period

That was the only mistake I saw

Awesome job!/[center}
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3
3
Review by Kevic
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow! I’m very impressed. With the length of this story the errors were very few!!! I really like the context, plot and everything else put into this story, obviously you are a strong thinker and hard writer!

1. I have a interview appointment with one Tinker Bell this afternoon,".
~~~~~There doesn’t need to be a period after the quote~~~~~

2. My name is Ted, and I will take you to see Mrs. Bell,".
~~~~~No period~~~~~

3. Now I must tell you something, Mrs. Barrie, that...particular resident has not been the most cooperative,".
~~~~~Period?~~~~~

4. The poor girl is probably just a little lonely,".
~~~~~This will be the last one; I’m just here to tell you the mistake. Look for more of these in your story, there are lots.~~~~~

5. She tried her very best to ignore the various cat-calling and screams that were coming from the cells.
~~~~~There really shouldn’t be a dash after cat, and before calling, just one word.~~~~~

6. The walls separating the cells were virtually non-existant, having no doubt eroded over the course of their paint-fueled and well choreographed dance numbers
~~~~~existent, should be existent, and well choreographed should be
well-choreographed~~~~~

7. “Tink. Call me Tink" She said quietly.
~~~~~No period just a comma and comma before quote ends~~~~~

8. "Peter. Peter's coming back.
~~~~~No period, comma after peter~~~~~

9. Jenny gasped and lept toward the call button, but stopped short when she saw Tink crumpled down against the window. Jenny cautiously walked toward Tink, and tried to console her.
~~~~~Jenny gasped and leaped not lept.~~~~~

10. Well, going back to what Peter told me.."
~~~~~I believe this is a mistake, because there are two periods.~~~~~

11. You really wanna know what happened?"
~~~~~Wanna isn’t a word, but it’s totally up to you to fix, I use it all the time just not in my stories.~~~~~

12. "Alright. Take a seat then." Tink advised
~~~~~after alright should be a comma no period~~~~~

13. He was living in a loft, and he had a bunch of buttwipe roommates, but I didn't pay a lot of attention to them.
~~~~~ LOL, I like this but Butt-wipe is dash word or two words~~~~~

14. I had to be on call, twenty-four seven, three-sixty-five.
~~~~~Three-sixty five~~~~~

15. Tink said

"Oh, I believe you Tink. “
~~~~~Comma after said~~~~~

16. Order, dammit!" the judge bellowed
~~~~~lol you spelt it wrong, Damn it!~~~~~

17. He started shaking and fidgeting, and then, he just kinda fell over" Dorothy explained.
~~~~~”kinda” is kind of, but it’s up to you.~~~~~

18. Tink jumped for joy upon hearing the news, and embraced Dorthy in a victory hug, and both began cackling like schoolgirls.
~~~~~LOL, you spelt Dorothy wrong, I mean you could have had it Dorthy, but before you put Dorothy~~~~~

19. Peter said enthustatically

"I'd like that a lot" Dorothy said, smiling
~~~~~enthusiastically, instead of enthustatically~~~~~

20. Tink exclaimed with joyfull enthusiasm, as Peter and Dorothy walked out hand in hand.
~~~~~”joyfull”, should be joyful~~~~~

I love this story Like I always ay keep up the awesome job, and you can post as many stories as you wish!

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4
4
Review of The Chase  
Review by Kevic
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great Job! I thank you very much for writing this, I love to write fiction, so the naxt story I make will be about the aliens taking over the world! Keep using that force little Padawan your doing great!
5
5
Review of My Silent Plea  
Review by Kevic
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
How awesome! I Don't read many poems but i like real short ones. This one was short that's what I like about it! I also liked that it had to do with an illness. Mayby someone dying it might give a feeling in your heart (not a bad thing!). I also like that there was a little love, this little poem has a lot of feelings, which is another goo thing!

I again noticed something good about your writing, "Icy fingers are clutching me
Gripping so tight," this phrase gives me a shock inside even for those few seconds, then "But I can't feel them touching me
Try as I might." That took away the shock

Keep up the awesome writings write more poems and happy holidays!

*Bigsmile**Bigsmile**Bigsmile*


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