This is a rather good poem, and though you have made a few punctuation errors, they are hardly noticeable and do not take away from the piece. I believe that the use of "malice" in the first stanza was foolish, for there is no other mention of evil intent in the entire poem. In fact, the use of malice seems to take away from the speaker's altruistic nature. A stronger word to use would have been sickness or disease, or you could have changed the line entirely to reflect more on the peoples' impoverished state. Outside of diction there is obviously no metrical pattern used, but your rhyme scheme is well implemented and almost makes up for this. Other than that, I enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work.
This is a fairly decent short story, but to my disappointment it lacked a wide variety of vocabulary. Many words were reused in the same sentence, which is a pet peeve of mine, and makes the passage less appealing to the reader. Despite these facts, the storyline was enjoyable, and it really evokes emotion when read.
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