I love this scene! Having been a mother of teen girls, I identified immediately with the father wanting to question Tommy, and put a little fear into him. I also identified with the mother softening at the burgeoning love, remembering her (my) own young love.
Wow! what a powerful and moving scene. I could feel the anticipation and disapppotntment clearly; you did a wonderful job in a very short scene. I look forward to reading more of your work. The only confusing thing for me is that I thought the character was terminally ill, but then they took pills as a suicide. Is the chracter commiting suicide because of something terminal that he/she doesn't want to linger with? Did he/she take anxiety or pain pills to help relax while awaiting their eminent death?
Once again, you've written a very moving tribute to something that seems "lost" today for many. Our soldiers need to be remembered, and our children taught about WHY they have the freedoms to live the way they do. Thank you so much for writing this piece, My 6th greade daughter cried and said, "God Mom, I had no idea." That's a very sad statement of our educational system.
Absolutely beautiful! I really love this and its great that you did this for him to celebrate your anniversary. You rhymed well, without making it sound hokey or stupid. (I see alot of words just thrown together because they rhyme) Great job, keep it up, I look forward to reading more of your work.
I loved it! It's sad, yet hopeful. (at least that's how I read it) Personally, I thought some of the lines interrupted the "flow" like "everyones won, never ever" etc. Overall it was ownderful though and will head over to read more of your work, Keep up the great job.
This is a truly wonderful piece of work. It must have been very scary for you, but I'm glad that you prayed and wrote that everyone is ultimatley in His hands. You did what many will not, you TRIED.
Keep up the great work, I'd like to read more of it!
I must say this story intrigued me from the beginning. Great Ideas with plenty of description! The only thing that kept slowing me down and making me pause or back up were some ill-used words (In my opinion)such as "was/were actually" 2 times in the same sentence. On the whole though, Wonderful!
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