good poem, although going from the past to present tense each line is hard. maybe fix the lines so that it is all in the past tense? It's would make it easier to read.
Also, in the 4th line, "phones ect," No. ect is not good in general, and definitly not a poem. It greatly detract from the quality. Just leave phones, you don't need a second object there.
Wow. This story made me shiver. I would never have guessed that the child was a ghost! Impressively done. I enjoyed the discriptions, and the voice used for the child. everything came together to make a really chilling ending, with the child remembering that (s)he is dead. Also, the fact there there was so little detail on the child improved the way this was read by a ton! usually I'm not a fan of not knowing what someone looks like, but this is an exaption. Well done!
very well done! I like how this poem turns from a sort of lamanation, to a cry for hope. It feels very inspiring.I also like "maybe today we will be capable enough to enhance our technologies for the greater benefit of mankind". We definitly need to!
It's definitly entertaning! I like the spin at the end, with the spell turing Ron's face yellow. made me laugh. However, exspessially at the begining, it seems a bit too much like the actual book. somehow, I can't see dudly ever acting like harry, or his uncle acting like that to his son.
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