\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/galileosimpson
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of An Old Skillet  Open in new Window.
Review by GalileoSimpson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
A nice light hearted poem that I enjoyed reading.

However I thought the rhyme of please with ease in the first stanza didnt work well as the last line didn' seem to make sense to me properly. I'd also say that the use of 'skillet' in the final stanza, to me, seems out of place as you have used this word for a deliberate repetition in stanzas 1 and 3. I would therefore consider replacing it - though obviously this would affect the rhyme.

Over I thought it was a refreshing and easy going poem that has a definite sense of rhythm - which is often lacking in many poems on this site (including my own). Well done and good luck in future writing!
2
2
Review of STARS  Open in new Window.
Review by GalileoSimpson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this was a lovely poem that was brief but still filled with a lot of meaning. My only major criticism would be that I feel the word glisten has a sound which jars with the rest of the poem and to me suggests almost a moistness (which I assume you do not wish to convey). I also think that some punctuation in the poem would help to place emphasis on specific point of interest - but I realise that the lack of punctuation is most likely a stylistic decision.

Also as you mention 'the' sun I would use a capital letter (i.e. the Sun)

Hope this was useful and if I appear overly critical it was not intentional as it is refreshing to see such a simple but intriguing subject contemplated well in such a short poem - which to my mind takes great confidence and flair as a writer.

Thanks for the read and I hope to read more from you in future
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/galileosimpson