Hello, Jakrebs  !
Alright, before I explain the rating  let me ask you something. What is going on with this chapter? And where was all this in the 2nd and 3rd one?
This is what I see. You found a subject you like, one you can relate to, which is football. With it, you found your voice. Can you not see how rich this chapter is? I mean, it's blooming with words, descriptions, and a few other things I want to address.
Item rating, first. You switched from 13+ to 18+. That creates a problem for readers. If you do get reviews on the first few chapters, then the rest they may not be able to get to, especially if they're teenagers. If you set it all to 18+, no matter the language within, then only those who have access to that rating will be able to see it.
Also, one more thing while I'm on this subject. Your chapters are static items. In order to move on to another chapter, I have to go back to your portfolio, scroll down and look for the next one so I can continue reading the story. I would recommend you tag the previous chapter as well as the following chapter at the bottom, previous to the left, following to the right for easier access. Just put them as items rather than bitems for a more appealing look.
Now, let's move on to the actual writing and the story itself.
This type of writing started toward the end of last chapter. You found your voice. Compared to this one, the other two I mentioned above look threadbare. Skeletons. Plain. So what is the real problem? Is it Valerie? Is it writing from a girl's POV? I want to say yes, that is the problem. In the first chapter you jumped in, started treading water, but then the river seemed to have run a bit dry and there were too many parts where it felt like you dragged the boat on dry land. I really do think it's the subject at hand that brought your imagination forth.
However, and this is a big however. Valerie is different. The beginning chapters show her as a quiet, withdrawn girl. Someone who is also done with the world and everything in it. I know she's a straight A student who has a curious nature, is also observant, but here... Here we meet a completely different girl. It's not a bad thing, but it's a big jump from one to the other.
Yes, it could be Drew's presence changing her voice, but it can never be too much, and this is too much. She went from quiet to very outspoken, opinionated, and almost belligerent in the way she talks to some of the teachers and staff. Mainly the coach and assistant principal. I'm not saying that she's not allowed to be that way, what I'm saying is that the change and difference is too big too quick. Also, kissing in a classroom, even without anyone else being there, is out of her character.
I've been raking my brain, going back in time to teenage years, remembering. And yes, a girl can change her behavior almost 360 degrees and rather quickly, but it's never for the good. While I know that's not the intention here, it stands out. The change is happening within less than a week.
Another thing, and I don't really have a good suggestion here, or any, which isn't helpful at all, would be the fact that a sixteen year old turned wifely in, again, less than a week. It bothers me because she has grandparents who do most of the stuff in and around the house alone. Valerie doesn't strike me as the type to simply abandon them, but then again, she only does chores on the weekend because of school. Yet here we are during the school week and there she is, feeling responsible for Drew, making him dinners, etc.. Again, not saying it's impossible but the contradictions are starting to be more visible.
Then the Drew part. Let's put aside the fact that he told her she'd be queen in his world someday. I'm talking about the fact that Wezell sent Drew to her, for her, and yes, she likes him, is falling in love with him, but she doesn't question it one bit. To her, his presence to be there for her, to protect her, is accepted. Is it because she was lonely for so long and simply needs someone to lean on? Maybe. Drew also seems like a real pet project at times. Does that make sense?
I want to say that that is all I see, but there's been one thing nagging at me. Did Valerie become ugly and chunky due to teenage years? The isolation and lack of friendships that followed, depression? And come to think of it now, I think somewhere along the lines you mentioned that she skipped a few grades due to her intelligence. If she's in high school now, with the grade skipping, how old is she really? Age versus language and behavior in this chapter don't really align. But back to the thing that nags me. There was a glimpse at some point of Valerie looking different, perhaps disheveled but not quite as 'ugly' as before. So, with the changes she's going through with Drew, I keep hoping to see a glimpse of more of those changes. Weight is and has always been a touchy subject for girls, so even if she lost only a few pounds, it would present changes within her, don't you think?
Now I'm done! Again, I hope you find something useful here, something to think on or consider, because I'm only an observant reader. Thank you again for the GPs.  I'm a little saddened that I have to put my focus elsewhere at the moment - namely bed time - and won't have time to read the next chapter, but I'll be back.
~ Gaby 
 
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for that. However, as a starting point it is a little long. I know it doesn't seem fair to say that. What I would recommend is using the third paragraph, mixed with the first one, and making it the beginning of the story. Unlike those whose name is known in the publishing world, we don't get the privilege of description as a starting point of a story. We get a sentence, a paragraph at most to grip the reader's attention. 
I can't believe I forgot about that site completely. My goodness, you brought some memories back, however fleeting they are. It also reminds me how things change in life.
It's been a long time. Let's leave it at that.
You still have time to edit if you wish to do so. 
You've been here for a long time! You do realize that your presence alone is enough for many of us. But I do understand you and know where you're coming from. Being on a writing site yet not writing anything defeats the purpose. Writing only when you feel you must in order to say you did doesn't make it fun either. 
