Hi, Scotty:
 
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It's Superpower Raid time and I take the liberty to pick this narrative from Read & Review to review and offer you my input.
Here are some comments you might consider when you decide to revisit it for tightening and improvement. My observations and suggestions are enclosed in brackets and color-coded green.
Formatting Your formatting looks good.
*Content It's easy to follow your story by observing good formatting.
As far as Mechanics, Syntax, and Punctuation, here are some snippets I cut and pasted that may need tweaking for clarity and readability:
"As I put my key into the red-scratched door of the museum [,] a train passes by on the elevated tracks across the street." [A comma is needed to break this sentence with a pause.]
"...thought it would be a [GRAND] idea..." [Try to avoid capitalizing or bolding a word for emphasis. Editors and publishers consider it screaming.]
"...I [HAD] to turn on the lights..." [Same idea as the one above.]
as fast as that [4] cylinder could go;
[According to The Writer's Digest Grammar Desk Reference, standard and conventional way of Presentation of numbers goes this way:Easy-to-use methods for the presentation of numbers:
1) When numbers are used infrequently: if a number can be spelled out in two words or fewer, spell it out. All whole numbers between zero and one hundred will therefore be presented as words.
2) When numbers are used frequently such as useful business-related, technical and scientific documents: numerals are more reader-friendly than spelled out numbers, so the only numbers that are presented in words should be the whole numbers zero through nine; numerals should be used for all other whole numbers.
3) Ages (of persons) Except in journalistic, business and technical contexts, spell out ages: forty-eight years old, a twenty-three-year-old, aged ninety-seven.
4) Times of day. When you are not spelling out the times (seven-thirty; a quarter before eleven this morning; half past nine; nine o’clock; shortly after five), use numerals followed by A.M. and P.M. (12:10 A.M.; 4 P.M.; from 11:00 A.M. to 7:45 P.M.); never write three o’clock A.M. or three A.M. Use the words noon and midnight instead of numerals.
5) Percentages: In business, technical, and scientific contexts, use a numeral followed by the % symbol or the word percent:34%; 56%.
In other contexts, the number and the word percent should be spelled out: thirty-five percent; forty percent, etc.]
One two [three..no] wait! If you're using ellipsis here, let me share with you what I learned about the use of ellipsis from The Writer's Digest Grammar Desk Reference. It helped me a lot and I hope it will help you as well.
Ellipses, also known as ellipsis points and suspension points, are punctuational device composed of a trio of spaced periods. (Always make sure that all three periods fit on a single line of text.) Ellipses have two important functions.
First, they are used in dialogue to indicate that a speaker has not brought an utterance to completion or to indicate that there are awkward pauses in the utterance.
The second use of the ellipses is to indicate that one or more words have been omitted from a direct quotation because the quoter considers them irrelevant to his or her purpose.
If you delete one or more words from the beginning of a quotation, you do not need to use ellipses – unless the document you are writing is unusually formal, in which case the blank space will separate the opening quotation mark from the first ellipsis period, but one blank space will follow the final ellipsis period.
If you delete one or more words from the end of a quotation positioned at the end of the hosting sentence, however, you need to use both a period and ellipses if the quoted matter has the status of a grammatically complete sentence. No blank space will precede the period.
If you are deleting one or more words from the end of a quotation that has the status of a grammatically complete sentence and that ends with a question mark or an exclamation point, position the terminal punctuation mark after the ellipses.
Spelling
[Thstandards] [I cannot figure out whether this is a simple typo or a word foreign to me.
[ uvered] This word is foreign to me. I tried looking it up in the Dictionary. Couldnt find any reference to it.
*Point of View (POV) Great presentation from a Third Person POV.
*Element of Conflict You were so conflicted within yourself as you struggled to restore the beauty of the piano from neglect and decay.
*Climax With your perseverance and determination to restore it's beauty, you reaped accolades in the end. What a beautiful satisfaction you harvested.
*Dialogue
Employing inner dialogue would have added involvement of the reader with sympathy and empathy for you as you struggled for days on end to achieve a flawless, made to show-off piano to the world.
*Disclaimer
I hope my observations and suggestions can help you tighten some loose ends relating to the mechanics of writing. Keep in mind, though, that these are from one reader's point of view. As such, take it with a grain of salt. The decision to adopt or discard suggestions is your prerogative.
*Over-all take away. I can appreciate your relentless determination to restore the beauty of the piano and it paid off big time. It gave me satisfaction to know that you succeeded in your goal despite all the hindrances that threatened to make you fail. Keep writing, Scotty. You have it in you to express your innermost feelings and emotions in pursuit of a goal.
Keep up the good work. Soon, your work may land an Editor's or Publisher's Desk and give you more rewards that you always dreamed of.
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