One Breath Away's (goldenlily284) Reviews

One Breath Away

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6 Public Reviews Given

11 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3913262

Review of Hurricane Katrina

Review by One Breath Away

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello.

I was not in Louisiana when Hurricane Katrina hit, thankfully, but I heard so much about it as New Orleans tried to settled down afterwards. I remembered the images of groups of people leaving and the damage from the water and winds, and even the pictures shown of people standing out on roofs waiting for their rescue. And then the high death count. It was such a sad time.

However, it was also one I had mostly forgotten until just now while reading your poem. I do not hear about it much anymore, but this poem really made me think about it again. The things you describe, I remember, but you use little description in how you approach the situation. The disaster was horrible, so instead of just telling us things like it rained and many people died, go into detail with your description. Act as if we didn't have a clue what this hurricane was, or even what a hurricane in general was, and go from there.

Is this a bad poem? No, in fact it is very good for a first. You cover the basics of writing a poem, which most people seem to struggle with at first, plus I love how you wait until the end to say what you are describing. That last line really makes an impact, especially for those that were really there are were ultimately affected by the hurricane.

I believe you did a good job here, so keep it up!

-One Breath Away

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3910896

Review of The Promise

Review by One Breath Away

Rated: E

| (4.0)

I love how you repeat the words and keep the same rhythm in every stanza. It is possible you could make a few more stanzas, but it is wonderfully written. It is a very emotional and well thought poem.

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3910727

Review of Equinox

Review by One Breath Away

Rated: E

| (4.5)

You use a poem to explain the equinox without ever using the word, yet you paint such a lovely picture of it in our minds, even going as far to use an example with the last stanza. You did a wonderful job here.

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3861542

Review of Forgiveness

Review by One Breath Away

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

I really have no words to describe the beauty of this poem. I think nearly everyone has experienced this feeling at least one time in their life. I know I have, and this poem speaks very well.

Also, you chose a good rhyme scheme, and it matches well with how you put it together. You managed to make it rhyme and still make everything make sense.

This is one of those poems that everyone should be able to read and feel something. You did an amazing job on the piece of work!