I am Cardinal Maroon, and I think you have a great beginning to a story. But I feel as though you aren't completely done with this work.
Does she meet him?
Why doesn't she know the combination?
Is she a new student?
And you never explained who Nick was. Was he the green eyed boy or the brown eyed boy?
I would also watch how you space your words. It feels kind of choppy when you give sentences their own paragraph... half way through the sentence.
Please take these comments as a way of encouragement.
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