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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/graceebroyles
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Everything  Open in new Window.
Review by grace e broyles Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
You've written this story as if you've experienced the tragedy.
There's a great intensity in your short story. The first paragraph set the tone very well.
I liked the flow, the movement from beginning to end.
I would urge you to go through it a few more times to cut out some of the words you don't really need. Some of the description isn't so necessary.
I'm not sure of your final sentence. It reflects the title but maybe you need a new title and a new ending.
It's a tough subject to deal with.
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Review of The Parting  Open in new Window.
Review by grace e broyles Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like your short story, especially your choice of words, and the whole flow of it.
I struggled some with your last sentence, but perhaps you planned to end that way.
He loves her, but knows she is ready to move on. Awkward because he was feeling that way.
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