This short story is good in describing the plot of the story. I think that it would be better to continue on in detailing why Evan was so monotone what sparked him to be uninteresting, a loser, and everything in between. What he could change or improve before Crystal moved next door. In writing sometimes asking questions is the key to unlocking many key points on where your writing will go. Keep up the good writing.
This poem is beautiful and needs no corrections, have you ever heard the saying your first mind is your best mind. You were young when you wrote this never anticipating God's hand in your heart. We must understand that there's work to be done and yes God seeks out his people we must be ready and aware he has given us a task to do. Keep your focus because there is more to come. And when it does you will dig deep.
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