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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gregm2
Review Requests: OFF
10 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'll gie you a down-to-Earth, honest and practical opinion. I'll let you know my overall impressions, highlight a few specific likes/dislikes and offer my personal suggestions for improvement.
Favorite Genres
Horror/scary Comedy/humour Pretty much anything else other than SciFi and Fantasy (I don't read enough of it to offer a valid review)
Least Favorite Genres
SciFi Fantasy
Favorite Item Types
Short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-fiction I'm an enthusiastic yet slow reader, so just can't commit the time to review lengthy items/books
I will not review...
SciFi Fantasy Non-fiction Lengthy items/books
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Present  Open in new Window.
Review by Greg M Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi timcole,

I enjoyed this, thank you for sharing your work.

I thought your description of the scene in the painting was very good ("the yellowish gold of the headlamp, a weak light in its time", "the prospect of imminent entrapment combined with the power of mass and speed"). Very evocative.

I could also very much relate to the subject matter as I recently lost an Uncle who was living in an aged care home, and whom I had not visited for some time. Your work is also reminiscent of a piece of my own which I recently shared in my portfolio - "I Don't Really Know Why".

I also enjoyed how, for a short story, you managed to project the sense of time (from being a young girl through to and well into adulthood).

As for suggestions for improvement (my opinion only):

- While as mentioned above I very much enjoyed your description of the painting, I do wonder if the work could be improved even further by using language more reflective of a young girl when first seeing the painting.

- Very minor point: It would be a little easier to read with spacing between the paragraphs.

Thanks again for sharing, I enjoyed it!

Keep on writing!

Greg


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
2
2
Review of The Old Cabin  Open in new Window.
Review by Greg M Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello fellow Greg,

I enjoyed your poem, thank you for sharing. It painted quite a strong picture for me and indeed made me wish I were there, enjoying nature and the peace and quiet your poem created.

The only bit that I could see as a potential opportunity for improvement is the line "The tranquility will inspire you, to pour out your zest.". My own view is that the word zest suggests energy and vitality whereas the rest of the poem reflects quiet/tranquility. I can't think of a better line off the top of my head, but it might be something worth considering.

I'm not much of a reader or writer of poetry, but overall I enjoyed it.

Thank you again for sharing your work and keep on writing!

Greg
3
3
Review of Knowing  Open in new Window.
Review by Greg M Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, thanks for your story. I hope you find the feedback helpful:

- I enjoyed the twist at the end, well done
- Your story includes some good descriptions and your use of the peach scent to evoke a memory and make the link to her husband (presumably) is good (though it could in my view be even better by being a touch more subtle)
- I'm not a woman, but my sense of it is that you describe the main character's inner-thoughts well.

A good, short piece with a twist.

Thanks again for your story and keep on writing! *Smile*

Greg
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