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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greyhelm
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14 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Grey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
You are an effective story teller.

This was good, I only caught one small error and I believe it was a typo.

"They boy wailed until he was rescued from Papa Madu's grip."

I think you meant "The boy". It speaks volumes that that was the only thing I found.

Good job all around, I finished reading it with a feeling of contentment.
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2
Review of Home, Part 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Grey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I found this to be an interesting read, I definitely enjoyed the "toon" concept. Perhaps maybe some Foghorn Leghorn at some point? Or maybe you already did, and I just have yet to read your other parts.

This was pretty well written in the sense that you keep the story moving at a good pace, and I found myself reminiscing about "Loony Toons" as I read.

Oh there was a part...

"but Lia only knew to be crunchy and sticky beneath her feet. "

I think there's a word or two missing in there. Aside from that I didn't really notice any errors.

Good job overall.
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Review of Trick or Tweet  Open in new Window.
Review by Grey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great story. Scary, too. I really don't doubt that all of that might just happen.

You did a nice job transitioning from the techno age, to an age of "back to the basics", followed by some kind of "Super-techno" age.

And the delivery was consistent throughout, a man recounting the things that occurred which led to the end of... almost everything.

In closing, I enjoyed it very much and I have to say... I'm somewhat haunted by it. ;)
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