great words use with commonly unfamiliar words like sodden, ebbs, and pale primrose. consturction of word play was used well with 'the night is near to steal the moods.
i love the beauty of the universe perspective. it entails an every expanding glorification of beauty as light is every traveling and illuminates the world we see before us with a combustible power of the fire with in our own hearts and we look at the paradise before us that we create.
i like the triumph even if for one song and a force purging through, consuming with a momentum that a phenomenon occurred. i don't believe in god but i do believe in an underlying force/dynamic that engulfs us. you captured that with this poem. i don't know if its a personal experience or a story but if it is true it is remarkable.
with the visual it adds a good reference. i had to look up halcyon which i like because i learned a new word that isn't commonly used or in circulation. quality job expressing i balled mesh, much like a writers state of mind, is still calm in between the rip tides of a ripple or disturbance of a calm flat of water in such rationed words.
i like how you said, '... watched the breeze comb the high grass... ' and '... trees dripping leaves'. the lucid decsriptions are what initially pulled me in. my other favorite thing was when you got to the letter and how she could only read the words she wanted to hear initially and the hesitation to open up the letter like anything we tend to stare for fear of being what we know it is. and the promise made to write every day, it's something so easy and five minutes out of your day that becomes so difficult to continue to keep. as far as the dialog, i'm not a big mushy person or happy endings type of guy so i receded a lil bit in interest. however i liked how you made the separation so you were focused on just the intro, or the dialog, and then the conclusion.
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