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Review by heidi_1990 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this story, thought it was lovely that Winnie thought to do something for her Mum after all she had done to help support the family. I'm glad that she won a holiday, hopefully that will reduce her stress and she can live her life enjoyably.

I laughed alot when you said that Winnie was scared more of somebody finding her in the bathroom with her panties down and exposed butt than of dying from the snake that crawled up by the toilet, such a trivial thing to worry about when your life is potentially in danger. It sounds a bit like she has some teenage insecurities and embarrassments about her body that are coming on.

I enjoyed reading about her crush on Denny and that he treated her well and made her feel like she was riding on clouds after he compared her looks to that of Hilary Duff



In a few parts of the story it was confusing to tell who was who, for example you mentioned Esther and only later on did I realise who she was, its the same with Lisa, but I still dont know who she is. You could make this a bit clearer when bringing up the characters names, or better still, at the beginning of the story when the Mum is first mentioned. Also in the conversation with Pat Logan, you change frequently between "their Mom", and "her Mom" and in this part it got quite hard to tell who was being referred to.
Apart from that I loved the description in other parts of the story, for example when describing what the mother looked like, and in the letter stating what she had experienced in her life.



"Her jewelry sparkled"
There is a spelling mistake here, spelt correctly: jewellery
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