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5 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Annalia Hijumo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Absolutely brilliant! This is just the thing I've been looking for - a no-nonsense "wake-up-and-smell-the-crap-coffee" article. It tells - no, it SHOWS you what we all intrisically know as readers: what differentiates the great story from the mediocre.
I'll be sure to return to this article for tips on how to flesh out characters. I've always heard the "Show, don't tell" line and was never too sure what that meant exactly. But with your emphatic appeal and relevant examples, it's now crystal-clear. Concise and extremely helpful - well done!
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Review of Cramp: Belated  Open in new Window.
Review by Annalia Hijumo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Haha, I liked this entry! Short, sweet and a bit of fun.
And this is coming from someone who doesn't usually like poetry pieces (I'm more of a prose person myself) .

I think this piece is just shy of 5 stars because (and this is only my personal opinion) I felt that the last line's rhythm was jarring compared to the rest of the poem. (Then again, it might just be the way I'm reading it :S).

Short of being anally pedantic, I also thought 'still' should be replaced by 'now'. (Wow, that really is anal!)
In my defence, I think it would help just to keep the poem in the right time frame - 'still' suggests that the X-mas decor/celebrations are too early whilst 'now' would suggest that the celebrations were waaaaaay overdue and hence be in keeping with the humour that makes this piece successful. Namely, the lady's forgetfulness. (The voice sounds like a lady's to me.)

ANYWAYS, it's a really great poem b/c it did the most important thing - made your reader smile! :D Well done, Elodie!
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