Hmmm! I have mixed feelings about this poem. It has potential, but I don't think it is the best kind of poetry, nor the best of its kind. Yet, it still touches on parts of human feeling extremely well, and resonates within us...
That's why I gave it a 4.0. It is a wonderful piece in terms of raw human energy and unfathomable questions about brokeness vs. Unbrokeness.
"Tempests, tears and sorrow,
Are signs you find
when you ask for time.
That part is my favorite. So, while I am not going to add it to my favorites on WC, I will certianly endorse it as a read that should be thought deeply about.
Thanks for posting it!
This is an amazing piece!!! I cannot begin to describe what it is like to read a piece of literature (a story, a poem) that makes me ache inside, both with the swells of uncertainty, unhappiness, and love.
All I can say is that it is one of the best poems I have ever read. It is extremely hard to let your feelings become a part of the piece, but you did exactly this.
Bravo!
Thank you for posting it!
And if it was a real life experience(which I guess it might be), You have all my sympathies.
I will be watching you!
*laughing* That was great! I loved it. Your imagery was just enough to get the piece in the mind of the reader, while the dialogue, though not a substancial amount, was perfectly balanced to the imagery and conveyed everything else that was needed to make the story click.
That is a rare thing, even with writers. It makes me want to read sooo much more! I've given some good reviews to people, but while their pieces were good, not many would have me begging for more. Well, 'Sorry Just Isn't Good Enough' did it, and I want to that you for that!
Bravo!
This is a pretty eye opening 'letter' to yourself, and I think it would (at least for me) or did bring into focus many things you could do with your talents, time, and money.
I would like to say that I love your 'resolutions'. As a newbie of sorts (though i've been a member for a bit), I completely understand the need for reviews, and members like you who have, and will make an effort are extremely important to us!
And second, wow! I like the style you have in the letter communicating with yourself.
Keep it up. You might even want to try a story that involves letters sent back and forth, with each letter opening new doors into the personal lives of certain people, lords, ladies, or others in an earlier time period. By my estimation based on your letter, this would be a good project for you!
I would just like to finish with this. That though you have found deficiencies in what you have and have not done in your writing.com venue, and in your writing persona, there is always tomorrow, and from your thoughts presented here, a bright tomorrow.
Carry on, and I wish you the greatest blessing that you might accomplish all your goals!
I thought the beginning was a bit rough, but the overall story was quite interesting. I don't know about others, but it makes me want to write the whole story!
Or, at least, to read it!
Wonderful start though, and for a short story, gripping.
Keep up the good work!
I found this story to be unusually weird and unenjoyable. Although a valid writing style, it is not one that personally engages me in the story....
Some of the word pictures are to be commended, but overall, I must say that this piece disapointed me.
Sorry Valera
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