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Review by hollyb Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think you have packed a lot into a short piece, and unfortunately, I can't play the audio, so I can't hear what it sounds like.

I think your second stanza is the strongest, poetically speaking. Really nice images! My only complaint is that this poem doesn't read much like a person would speak, which depending on your point of view, can be good or bad. If your intent is to get across the things people don't say, I think you've done it. If you want to be realistic with the style, I'd say it needs some work in that department.

Either way, good job!
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