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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry
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1,616 Public Reviews Given
1,670 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
You have some beautiful artwork here, the flying coach logos are beautiful. Having a badge or other award delivered by such a service would be very special. You have clearly put a lot of thought into this and the large variety of genres it can relate to works well as it means there is something for everyone and not just fantasy fans.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This was an interesting twist on the Red Riding Hood fairytale. I enjoyed how atmospheric the descriptions were, especially of the palace in the storm, as the settings felt vividly real. Having Rory as the daughter of a queen who makes her daughter have a claustrophobic lifestyle was an interesting twist and worked well.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This funny short story about George being made a laughing stock by the mischievous squirrels who live in his back garden reminded me of the new Peter Rabbit movie and would appeal to children who would enjoy the talking animals playing a prank on the man putting a new bird feeder out to please his wife. The reversal of situation as George falls over whilst trying to help whatever has been calling for help (actually a naughty squirrel) added a lot of humour to the ending of the story.
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Review of Mamabear  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem uses the technique of zoomorphism to describe the wife as a Mama bear and the speaker of the poem as a monkey to add humour and warmth to the poem. The scenarios suggest that they have been together for long years and seen good and bad times but that their relationship is strong and timeless. The rhyming couplets were a good choice as they suggest the focus on the two characters that is central to the poem. The use of repetition, refrain and direct speech was also well done and I got a strong sense of poetic voice from the informal language used. Overall this was a poem that came across like a song and focused on the specific and individual qualities of the relationship in an interesting way.
The only suggestion that I would make is maybe set the content rating from E to 13+ as children might read the poem thinking that it is about animals when it includes some sex references as it unfolds and readers realise the bear and monkey are zoomorphism for a married couple enjoying a loving relationship.
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5
Review of Bella  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful and deeply meaningful piece full of the humour, cute moments, special qualities and trials that come with owning a pet. Although the prompt words have been included I guess from the realism that you convey in the story that this is a true story. The characters are effectively conveyed and Bella, with her intuitive nature, is clearly a special dog. I enjoyed the twist at the end where instead of being reluctant she welcomes to puppy and invites it to play in the snow as it hesitates.
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Review of A Foxy Lady  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I agree that this poem is definitely not bad despite being written when you were starting out on your writing journey. The inspiration and love for a very special friend shone through and makes this poem a great read. Reviewing it late to improvise structure and language choice worked well and I liked the lines set apart in a different colour for emphasis. The fact of the subject of the poem being a slow starter in the day but vibrant in the evening showed how close you are and was believable. What a great personality to give vibrancy to your life the subject of the poem is, it would bd nice to gift the poem to her as I’m sure she’d love it.
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Review of Spacewalker  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem was a moving piece about the nightmarish situation of an astronaut lost in space. At first the tone is hopeful as the astronaut is told that there is a plan to rescue him, but as time passes he realises no help is coming and drifts into space feeling that those on earth are uncaring about this fate. The choice of second person narrative voice made the poem more vivid and my favourite line was ‘How long can you stand without seeing land?’ as I got a clear sense of the lack of gravity and vastness of space here. The short lines and rhyme scheme are effective in conveying the story in a succinct way.
I must admit that I am slightly confused as to the meaning of ‘void by design’. I interpreted the final stanza as meaning that the earth was behind the lost astronaut, its inhabitants blind to his fate. However, I think perhaps the ‘void by design’ needs some more interpretation if possible to explain its meaning, ideally adding an extra word if the poetic scheme allows.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I enjoyed this interesting story about a leopard who is undeterred from visiting the back garden despite the firecrackers during Diwali. I wonder if it somehow sense that the back garden would be empty or maybe it hoped animal prey would be there frightened by the firecrackers. It is an interesting and unusual incident snd it is good you captured it in writing.
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Review of Strange Ways  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a fabulous fantasy story full of twists. I loved friendly vegan dragon Derrick and his appearance with Reema as his guardian made a wonderful plot twist after Reema was assumed dead and Daniel thought he had to fight the dragon. I feel that the message about dragons not always being scary and evil kings having a redemption was a good one for children to hear and I like how this was situated as a tale old to Reema and Daniel's adopted daughter.
The quality of the writing was high and there was only one word that I felt should be altered: ‘outcropping’ sounds odd, maybe write outcrop or outcropping rock here?
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Review of Mister  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
What I liked best:
I enjoyed the refrain-like repetition in the structure of the poem and I could imagine this like a song being performed by the couple with them both taking single parts before singing together in the fourth stanza. I liked the ambiguity as at the end the woman is still asking him to give him name, implying there is still some mystery and some way to go in the relationship. This circular structure links back to her seeing him earlier when he is an unknown but fascinating presence in the market. You conveyed a strong sense of how he stands out from the crowd which enabled readers to appreciate how special this romance is.

Some suggestions:
A 'the' is needed here: Going through the busy market
In the first stanza you have 'Man' written in capitals when it would look better small. Miser is fine in capitals as it is used instead of his name, which the speaker of the poem does not know.
Consider using quotation marks for the words to mark them out as direct speech.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a funny poem full of humorous details as the idiom 'it's raining cats and dogs' comes true. The variety of pets and their characters come across well and I enjoyed how you set the poem with a parent and child watching the unusual rainfall which added an element of make-believe that means both children and adults would enjoy the poem.
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Review of Escape  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this snapshot of a how Jet the dachshund experiences such a longing to be outside as his owner leaves him alone for long hours, and how he finally managed to get free. You did a great job of conveying Jet’s longing from his perspective interested in the scent of tacos and the postman’s socks. The way you conveyed Jet’s reactions jumping up at the door and having his tail wagging like a windmill was realistic. I hope he finds a better owner with more time waiting for him after his big adventure.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
So many wonderful writing prompts here, I'm looking forward to selecting one and writing something to add to the challenge. I like the idea of the acrostic poem, why I'd like to live in a Jane Austen novel and Jane Austen birthday so will try and write these at first. All are lovely ideas though so I will see what inspires me. I'm pleased you are doing such lovely activities for Jane's 250th anniversary.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed your creation of atompshere and suggestion of a longer story here. The hints that something might go wrong worked well and the bear appearing added a lot of tension. I enjoyed the contrast at the end where Jenny finds herself switching from a terrifying situation to one where she is rescued. I guess the man may live at the neighbouring house on the track and that would be nice as they would get to see each other easily.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an interesting transposition of the form and some of the wording of the traditional Beetles song into a poem exploring betrayal, greed and lies. I especially liked the way that the first speaker appears to be the manipulator of the blind second speaker, but the second speaker actually appears to be playing them along and will end up the most powerful of the pair in their struggle. This worked well as it gave readers opportunity to guess at the true nature of the characters and their relationship. I was a little unclear whether a business or a political relationship is implied here?
'it will all work oit.' Should be 'it will all work out'.
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Review of Tuatha Dé Danann  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The blend of traditional Irish myths related to the Tuatha Dé Danann and sci-fi elements that reminded me of Star Wars made this an intriguing Star Wars Patrick's Day story. I enjoyed how the Kahnh's society have evolved new technology and the med unit used to create a new arm for Nauda seems a useful and plausible new invention. The fight between Nauda and Sreng was tense and I especially liked the ending which brought in the leprachaun and firmly linked the text back to St Patrick's Day.
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Review of Ode To The Earth  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem resonates the meaningful message to take better care of the planet. The juxtaposition of the greedy humans covering the land and ocean with waste and destroying trees and the more hopeful imagery of the awareness brought about by Earth Day worked well. The choice of the bumblebee worked well as these small creates play a vital role in the ecosystem, benefitting humanity as well and being found in most places on the planet. They are also a species most people would be able to help, even just by tending a pot of wildflower seeds on a windowsill.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story was both sweet and romantic and realistic with the internal conflict experiences by Clara effectively driving the plot forward. Still crushed after the horror of her marriage to abusive Albert, it took Clara a while to feel able to develop feelings for sweet, gentle Daniel. I like how he too had a backstory of family loss which made me even more keen to see this lonely man find love. You timed the plot right introducing Emily just as Clara is opening up to love, making her realise the true depth of her feelings for Daniel.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this story and Cleo’s character and drive stood out well, especially the way that he undergoes a transformation of ideals towards the end and finds a way to combine his love of acting with his law studies. The gypsy, ring and necklace added a magical feel to this time travel story. I agree it would be nice to have more of the story if you ever return to it without the word limit.
I wondered how Cleo knows that the street lights are electric and what a television is? It would be nice to include his thoughts as he guesses what they are.
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Review of BANANAS  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely poem full of heartfelt celebration of bananas. Bananas are my favourite food too and I will have to try the unripe banana recipe as it sounds delicious. It was special to hear about the links of bananas to family memories, growing different types of bananas and how healthy they were. The positive tone of the poem is lovely.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed the beautiful setting of this story with both the ride and picnic in Camelot and the beautiful fairy forest of Unicorn Island. The details were well described to create a romantic fairytale mood that held my interest. The part where Arthur and Morgana are saved by being taken to Unicorn Island was a good way out when some rogues turned up to kidnap them. I wondered how they got back to Camelot after going to Unicorn Island, maybe some unicorns take them back there and decide to stay?
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed how this chapter help promise for an action and adventure story set in an everyday, ordinary setting. The mention of a distant war, mysterious letters, and the symbolic poem to unravel were great plot ideas.
In the second line you have eAvery and the e needs to removed.
Maybe WDC has messed up the paragraph format but you need to have a new paragraph each time another character speaks.
The ending with the spam sandwiches was funny but I wondered if something more related to the plot might be added afterwards to create a hook for readers? Maybe Avery thinks about the poem again or remembers something he heard about the Paragon war?
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Review of Tangled Weave  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a lovely poem blending fairytales, witchcraft and dreams in an amusing way. I enjoy how the image of Grace with her knitting yarn worked first ti create a peaceful image and then alludes to traditional tales of pixies playing pranks by knitting wool as she wakes and finds herself surrounded by tangled wool. The black cat similar might be a magical being and part of an everyday scenario, adding mystery to this enjoyable poem.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed how the natural imagery of the sunset and the tree which appears like ‘a skeleton of bare twigs’ despite it being summer reflects the situation of the speaker of the poem and the departed loved one they address in this epistle poem. The fact that it was addressed to someone like a letter was only revealed at the end and this structure worked effectively.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed this romantic Arthurian story and the twist that you gave to the legend as here Morgana appears as the love interest to Arthur and not to Guinevere. Morgana seems a much more glamrous and likable character as she cares for those with magic and wants Arthur and his father to change their pompus ways. The dance and ride were romantic and the incident where Arthur needs to save Morgana's life after she is bitten by a snake worked well at getting them to admit their feelings. The appearance of the unicorn at the end of the story was interesting and it made me wonder what role it will play in the future of Camelot...
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