This is a delightful peace with a wonderful perspective on the beauty of rain. Well-organized thoughts expressed with passion and clarity. The only part I might change is the substitution for unique metaphors and specific action for adjectives such as beautiful and glorious. I find that it really strengthens the effectiveness of a piece to show beauty in more original ways than simply describing something as beautiful, glorious, magical, comforting, etc. That aside, I loved the references to music to illuminate your thoughts; I share your view that beholding the power of nature makes your heart sing.
Wonderful seasonal imagery here, with lovely, smooth rhythm that suits the theme and tone. Skillful blending of love and nature imagery! The warmth of love contrasts the chill of October's rain. Less repetition of words like lips and fingertips could strengthen this peace, and adjectives like gentle and quiet could be replaced with more unique imagery and metaphors, but the overall effect is beautiful!
This is such an important message, and everyone needs to read this and understand the truth that is written in God's word. The knowledge of the existence of eternal punishment that is as real as eternal joy in Heaven should give us greater urgency to share the gospel. This is very well-written with evidence from Scripture to back it up.
This paints a delightful picture of the magic and peace of being out at night with the crickets. I love the structure of appealing to each of the senses. As I always say, more specific and unique metaphors could enhance and strengthen it. In the second line, should "filing" be "filling"? Phrases like "humid air", "gets brighter", and "all you need" could be replaced with more unusual ones. My favorite lines were "The invisible masseuse triumphs at our soul's knots" and "Crickets play in time as the force of the eternal tempo". The originality of these really stood out. I also love the interchange of words in the last 2 lines. Overall lovely work!
This is such a wonderful expression of love, compassion, and determination to live God's will. So lovely in its simple, direct language and portrayal of a loving heart turned towards God. I always say that more specific detailed imagery strengthens writing, but overall delightful work!
You portray such a wonderful and direct message of the meaning of pure love we give and receive from God and others. More specific imagery and examples of how love is shown could make this peace stronger, but overall a very lovely message. Keep writing in this style!
This is a lovely portrait of these spectacular birds with vivid details and depth of meaning. It could be even stronger by using more metaphors and unique verbs to replace some of the adjectives, especially the more vague ones like impressive, majestic, and remarkable. Overall a delightful vision of the owl in the forest!
Simple, yet full of rich meaning. I love the images you included for each of the seasons. They could be even more vivid with an expansion on each line with more specific and unexpected imagery.
This evokes lovely images of nature with a smooth, rhythmic flow. It might be interesting to try some more metaphors and figurative language with unusual associations. Keep up the inspiring nature poetry!
If you have written this for someone special, I'm sure it made her feel precious and beloved! It's wonderful that you glorify God in your writing. I like this poem's musical quality. You might want to consider using more verbs and unexpected phrases rather than adjectives like beautiful and happiest, and not use the word angel quite so often. Still a wonderful tribute to the one you love.
Delightful images of the clear serenity of morning in God's wondrous creation. This is lovely in its simplicity, though I would suggest more consistent rhymes, and ones that are not used often. Try coming up with unique phrases that portray the world in unexpected ways that readers may have never heard before. Keep writing your cheerful verses!
Simple, yet evocative metaphor of new life both in nature and in us. It would really come alive if you experimented with unusual phrases that haven't been heard before. Lovely, reflective piece.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/holynda
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 8:25pm on Dec 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
