A very interesting poem. For the most part your rhythm and rhyming went quite well, although sometimes your rhyming didn't quite work out well, or at least in my opinion sounded a little odd. For example, "something" and "pumpkin" don't quite rhyme, unless you pronounce something as somethin'. Also, when you are talking about feeling a power, talking about how it doesn't go with a shower made me feel like the effect was ruined a bit. Another word that rhymes with power is flower, so I would suggest something like "I feel a strange power, I feel it blossoming like a flower", or something. You do not need to change your poem according to what I think; the best way to write a poem is to write by your instinct. Still, overall, nice poem! Keep writing!
==Miss Invisible
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hurricanegirl
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 9:48pm on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
