I had reviewed your other poem earlier and just checked what else you have written. I so much enjoyed this one. In so few lines you have expressed your emotions with clarity and strength. Your words have painted a vivid picture and I feel I know the speaker so well. Unlike most of the new writers here, it is clear that you have talent and you should continue to express your emotions and thoughts in poetry. Okay, if you insist on a negative comment, please watch the grammer and spelling which detract from the overall presentation like dings on a shiny new car.
the lines from the beginning through "your touch" were well written and very strong in describing your feelings. the last four lines suffered from grammatical problems; but also weakly repeated the emotion conveyed in the first 7 lines. i would either delete or try to tighten and strenghten. a good effort and worth putting in additional work.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/i_lurk_late
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:40pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
