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Review of Out on the Water  Open in new Window.
Review by Iblis Lux Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You really managed to make a simple tale of a man's hobby into something interesting to read. We never notice those moments, used to Hollywoodian blasts and life-threatening situations. As someone already said, "we all live in quiet desperation", or something to that effect. You portrayed it well. I think you overabused the adjectives, though. For instance: "Despite the unbearable pain, an overwhelming feeling". If you took them off, the phrase would have more punch. Besides, it sounds odd, as if the phrase really weighted you down. That's all I wanted to draw your attention to.

Regards.
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