Wow, I just love this! This story is very well written and I enjoyed your writting style immensly(sp?). Some things which were very well done were the voice she kept hearing, the descriptive writing, the hints and foreshadowing (i hope I'm assuming correctly that you did that on purpose), and the brilliant ending.
Although I really enjoyed this story, especially since in English class we just finished our Horror unit, there are a few flaws which keep it from being fantastic. One thing which I think would make it much better is if you more foreshadowing, more hints which would make the reader question what is going on and in the end they will be able to go back and find those subtle hints and figure out exactly what happened the night before without being told. Another thing which you might want to think about is that this story doesn't have very much horror in it. It is an excellent story, very well written, but it doesn't possess the captivation that horror stories do. This is probably due to the short length of the story and the fact that nothing scary actualy happens(by this i dont mean that its not scary but that no action which you describe induces fear, its the setting description which makes you wonder about whats going on that induces fear), it just makes you think about what happened the night before, which is great if thats what your going for.
Overall, great job, keep up the good work. As I said, you might want to consider making it longer and adding either more plot or more scary moments. If not, im not really sure what else to do with it. There must be something, because it doesn't seem perfect yet, but im not that great of a writer/reader to know what to change. Im only 15 so I might be wrong about some of what I said you should change. Its really up to you.
Anyways, I can't think of anything more to say. Great job, I look forward to reading more stories like this (i just joined the site today). Your writing seems very cool, kinda a blend between Edgar Allan Poe and Stephen King horror. Keep up the good work.
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