That was good. Though I don't much like swearing. I don't know. I don't really read adult fiction, I'm still reading teen and certain older children's novels. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
Interesting obstacle - dandelions aren't your typical plot obstacle.
I kinda like it.
It's a really nice story. I love the pretty descriptions of the Vindhya mountain range. You did a good job in my opinion.
The little story within the story was very interesting to read. I've never heard Indian folk talks.
Though I see you changed your username. :)
You were very brave to put this out there. I loved the story - it was really good.
Spirituality wise, I actually find it rather rare to find someone who believes someone can be skeptical of God's existence, live a good life, and get to heaven or even just Purgatory.
I didn't like the fact there were a couple of swear words in there. I find that unless you are writing solely for yourself, putting swear words into a story is kind of rude because the audience you are writing for may not like them.
I don't know, that may be just me.
But I loved the story for sure!
This is a nice sweet introduction to your friend!
I think that sentence "Elizabeth first joined WDC in 2003, when she completed a short story workshop, which she enjoyed" is a run-on. Please shorten that, it sounds too odd.
It is a nice summary of your friend's life and hobbies.
I'm never really a big fan of being highly descriptive. I like to create an image in my mind. You're pretty descriptive, and it's almost over the top in my opinion. I'm not a professional writer, just an amateur, but what I read, I have difficulty reading books that don't have a lot of dialogue.
Maybe that's just me.
As for everything else, from what I got, I loved the story idea.
You have good grammer, and your writing is probably a lot better than mine, that's for sure!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/idefloveballet
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:51am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
