The very last paragraph ruined it for me. I would otherwise give you 4 stars. Up to this point it's a well written story with great flow. Get rid of the explanation. The story must be self-contained.
One minor thing that wasn't clear to me, if it's 8th or 9th time, where dozens of chambers come from?
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/iliadav
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:35am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.