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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/imakunee
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Review by imakunee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What can I say? I absolutely LOVED this piece.

Straight from the beginning it captures your attention with this other, dark world where all you know is walls on either side, trapping you, preventing you from turning back into the comfort you previously knew. There is also the vertical beam of white light, the only thing prominent in the ever sounding darkness.

Then you brought in the philosophical and artistic writing portions of the story (at least, in the way that it's obvious. Your opening already contained thiese). The alternating of italics and normal typing helps amplify the sense of two worlds that this story has. People come into this story, at least as the first paragraph made me assume, realizing that it has two levels to the story- an allegory. Of course there's the first, actual physical representation that you're narrating, and then what those things represent. And that's what draws people into your story. I couldn't stop reading in order to understand the concepts behind the scenes, yet still feeling attached to the story of me walking through this spiritual (I guess you could say) world, leading yourself ever closer to the end. This also helps emphasize the two worlds part of this.

The beam of light is, as I believe, the "light at the end of the tunnel" and I really like your play on that. It helps make your story able to be related to by those who read it.

At the end, the line "Or do you fear what lies beyond it?" really sent me for a loop. I got goose bumps. I couldn't understand why because that's a really common topic, fearing not death itself but what's beyond, yet I couldn't help it. Just goes to show that your story draws in the reader extremely well and you get so immersed in the repetition of the voice that you can't help but be shocked by the sudden revelation of the answer to the questions the voice asks.

All in all, this was an excellent piece, and I'm going to suggest it to some of my friends. Thank you for the fantastic read! :D
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