Okay, I have to say that your poem has the cutest cover picture of all time. That being said, I did enjoy what you had to write. I was picturing almost a poet's corner, beatnik style as you laid out your poem. As far as the subject matter goes, I love hearing parent's wonder as to what's going on in the locked box that is a young child's mind. What mysteries does it hold? What future lies ahead of this miracle in front of you? I really liked it.
I just want to say that I really enjoyed your story. It's not often that you get a narrative like this one that can be instantly related to with a smidgen of history or mythology under your belt. You picked up and left off at very appropriate places, and your story was easy to follow and get into. A+ and please continue writing more wonderful stories.
I love the subject matter of this poem. Kids are really something special in the long run, and I can tell your poured your heart out when you declared this in your writing. I don't have kids of my own, but watching my niece and nephew grow up (and indeed the chaos that ensued) has been an experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. I enjoyed your work, and I encourage you to continue writing!
Definitely a good start. Nothing wrong with getting dropped into the middle of a conflict when being introduced to a story line. The narrative was easy to follow and exposition was kept neat and to the point. If I could find any beef at all with this, it would have to be the last paragraph alone. I feel like it might have been a smidgen too premature for Bryce's mind to immediately go there with Rochelle after suffering heartbreak. For the record though, I could easily be wrong, and keeping that paragraph isn't detrimental to the work as a whole. Keep it up!
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