Good job Lynn, I actually liked it very much and it expresses the coldness of behaviour, however I reckon that the familiar scenario is the opposite, the man is the one that falls in love and keeps striving for the girl to love him, at least this is what happens in Egypt, if this story is true you could come and live with us. (just kidding).
however I ought to tell you that you should place the words of the character in separate lines cause I found some difficulty in reading it, however I would love to read it again after you modify it.
Please tell me more about you, cause I found that your biography is empty
hey i tried to read your story, yet somehow it doesn't work so could you please try to upload it again, cause i would love to read it and review it, plus its title seems quite interesting and the type that I like, thank you very much, waiting for your new upload
the beginning was a little bit lame, and then you improved it by choosing quite strong words at the end of it, I hope you do what you like, and I would like to challenge you in writing :D, since I that I feel that you have a good potential in writing
Quite good, yet I feel that you should actually be more specific on the destination that you are writing about, because I actually found a problem whilst imaging the scene of your poem, yet the vocabulary that you utilized in the poem was very passionate and full of strength.
keep up the good work
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