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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/iva333
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32 Public Reviews Given
32 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Black of Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love the scene, but the flow was difficult to follow because of the punctuation.
If written in stanza I might have been able to follow better.

But again, I love the scene you painted.

Iva
2
2
Review of Lies  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Certainly a poem we can all identify with. It flowed nicely.
3
3
Review of Dark Alliance  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
For some reason I struggled with ambiguous.
4
4
Review of Writing Prompt  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Happens.
5
5
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You have great flow and an important message. Here are some corrections and suggestions. Keep writing.

1. They have no idea the pain "you're" in

2. Remember it happens to all of us

3. Lose the 2nd "Remember"

4. But our mental health has paid the price.

Also I don't think "that" and "twat" rhyme the way you hoped.

I like this. My husband and I are Veterans and my son-in-law has completed Iraq and Afghanistan tours. People need to hear more about what you can share.

Peace

Iva Marie



6
6
Review of Almost Over  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
That was a fun read to the end of the holiday event. One we can all relate to.

Thanks for sharing. One punctuation correction, did you want a period after the second line "witches."?

Have a good day!

Iva Marie
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7
Review of THE POEM  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
That was such a fun read. It flowed nicely, and made me smile. Thanks for sharing. Keep feeing the poem.
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8
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you. Your words shared both the pain of the soldier and the families that love them. It flowed nicely and connected with clarity. As a Veteran, and a mother with a son-in-law in the Armed Forces, the pain of the military life is all to clear. You described it beautifully.

Peace

Iva Marie
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9
Review of Stuck!  Open in new Window.
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
The second half of the poem really flowed for me. I could sense the pressure building in your words.
10
10
Review by Iva Marie Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
You painted a very clear picture of how so many people feel. I could relate, and I appreciated how you expressed it.
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