\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jakehbrooks
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Why! Why! Why!  Open in new Window.
Review by Jake Halbrooks Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Lol nice poll. My reasoning isn't listed in your options. Gay men know what an "attractive" man looks like since they are attracted to them. They know how to dress to look sexy, how to do their hair, and the importance of a good body. Gay men will be more willing to workout to get those abs everyone craves because they know first hand the effects they have. Most gay men also have more female friends than male friends which further helps with their fashion, and etc. Hope this helped!

-JakeHbrooks
2
2
Review by Jake Halbrooks Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is the first entry I have read of this and would like to say good job. It has left me wanting to know who this girl is, why she is in her current predicament, and what is going to become of her. Overall I think you've done a fantastic job with descriptions and the overall flow of the story. This particular sentence: "The pain in her head grew sharper and fear began to engulf her as the door burst open, and she once again found herself retreating, yet again, into darkness as the scene faded out of view. " needs to be edited a little in my opinion. You say "she once again found herself retreating, yet again,". You need to take out either once again, or yet again. Also it wouldn't be a bad idea to split this long sentence in to two smaller sentences. Keep writing, I look forward to finding out what happens.
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jakehbrooks