FIRST GLANCE This is a song, a song about love. It made me think about romeo and juliet. I could tell it was coming from the view point of a woman, talking to a man who saves her from her life or depression or pain of some sorts. That was obvious. I liked how descriptive it was.
FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS I felt like I was hearing the story of a woman who is very in love, and loved in return. It is nice to be protected and cared for. I felt that feeling coming out of your song.
WHAT I LIKED THE MOST I love the romantics of the last stanza, when you said "we'll fly away." To get away from the world and everything in it is a very appealing temptation with true love, and you described it perfectly and artistically.
SUGGESTIONS Maybe add a bridge to your song.
OVER ALL Very heart felt, I could feel the love, Maybe I'll hear it on the radio one day.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
FIRST GLANCE It told a story and gave descriptive emotion to paint it. It is a small poem but I liked it.
FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS I defiantly felt sorry for who ever the poem was about. It made me think of my own past relationships, some of the promises broken and how that made me feel. It also made me think of some of the mistakes I have made and the Darkness and pain that came from them. You did a very good job of showing emotion while describing a relationship.
WHAT I LIKED THE MOST I liked the end result, the decision that was made at the end to not let it tear that person down, to live free. It is a very hard thing to do especially with how painful you made it sound. To be how they once were, very hopeful.
SUGGESTIONS I think this poem should be titled something that shows that it has a happy resolve. maybe like darkness finds the light of something, but thats just my opinion.
OVER ALL Very well written and it pulled me in. It activated my emotions, I liked it.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
A review from JasonJasonOf your piece entitled:;lasjdf;lajsl;dfk
FIRST GLANCE
l;asjdf;ladksfasdfks FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS
;lasdjf;lajsdf;las WHAT I LIKED THE MOST
l;asjdfl;kajsdlf;kjsalkdjflks; SUGGESTIONS
;ljalsdfjl;asfsdfksdjfl;asdjfkl;s OVER ALL
;ladsfkaksdfjkls;dfjakl;sdjfklas;d
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
FIRST GLANCE
jslfjlsdjflkasdjflasdjflksdjflksaj;lf FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS
asjfl;sadjfl;asdjflksjdfl;ajsdlfkajsdl;kf WHAT I LIKED THE MOST
fdsajfl;sdjflkasdjflaksdjflkasdjfkl;as SUGGESTIONS
lksdjflkasdjflkasdjlf;kjdaskfjla;kfkasdfjk OVER ALL
jasl;kfjls;dfjals;dk;fjl;dksfjlksdjflksa;
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
I defiantly got the feeling of emptiness that you were trying to portray. I like the color you used, I think blue is some what of a sad color at times, and it added to the feeling. I could see a vivid picture of someone missing someone. It got its point across and made me miss my dead hamster.
What I liked the most:
My favorite part was the very simple second line. It said "mirrors" even though that was short, I felt it added volumes to the whole poem. I could see someone looking in the mirror, seeing themselves, and having it remind them of a relative or a close friend. I liked that a lot.
Spelling and grammar:
The only thing I noticed was that you did not capitalize I, in "now i suddenly".
Suggestions:
Nope.
Over all:
I love it.
I'm excited to see you soon in PDG class.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
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So sad, like being in a butcher shop. or in a one sided war, I could feel the sadness from the pelican. This would make a good disney pixar movie Idea.
What I liked the most:
I liked the "sisters and brothers wash up"line. i thought that was the most vivid part of the poem.
Spelling and grammar:
Looks good
Suggestions:
Maybe write about a pelicans revenge.
Over all:
Very sad, and thought provoking.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
I felt very safe and watched over. I felt like someone is out there that really cared, I think you covered everything an angel could do, and you did it beautifully in my opinion. very very good.
What I liked the most:
The very end, I thought of myself departing and my spirit being rescued by angels, it was a warm feeling.
Spelling and grammar:
Perfect.
Suggestions:
None.
Over all:
Very warm and comforting.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
it made me think of my own life, who I really am, if i was trying to be something I'm not, or what I want to be. I don't know if that was the goal of the poem but thats what I felt. I liked it a lot.
What I liked the most:
The lines about the passengers and drivers, successors on survivors really stood out to me. great rhyme, and a great thought to chew on.
Spelling and grammar:
It all looks good to me.
Suggestions:
Maybe write another poem talking about your next life.
Over all:
Very thought provoking and intelligent. filled with emotion. I loved it.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
I could feel your passion for the hate of war, and could tell this poem came from the heart
What I liked the most:
I liked the first two lines and how they rhymed.
Spelling and grammar:
Im not sure that begun is a word and I don't think that the word "shot" on the third stanza, first line was the word you meant to put. Maybe you meant to put shoot?
Suggestions:
I would go back and make more parts rhyme and add some more because it is a good idea.
Over all:
I made me think. it was good.
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
I started to think of all the times I felt like that and needed a reality check. I used to be a door to door salesman and every time I got a door slammed in my face I got angrier and angrier, I had to realize that they weren't rejecting me, but my product. That was a hard reality check for me.
What I liked the most:
What I liked most about this piece was the list, Q, Q, R, SC, that is a very good process to put yourself through on a daily basis for me at least. I think I will implement that.
Spelling and grammar:
Perfect as far as I can see.
Suggestions:
None
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WHIMSICAL POETRY (18+) A compilation of a few light hearted, laugh out loud poems. #1779050 by Jason
I really liked this. It told a great story in depth. Is it a true one? It had some good rhyming schemes and made you want to honor captain Seth. If we all could be as dedicated as he was to what ever it is we do, we would have a good world.
this brought me into the dream, i liked it. I could see the gray and the yellow in the story very well. It made me wonder as i was reading if it would have a happy or sad ending, good anticipation.
hahahahaha love it. and i love dialog stories. Good interpretation of the grim reaper in my opinion. It flowed very well, if there were and grammatical errors I missed them. I love to write stories only in dialog, you inspire me. Im new here to WDC maybe you could look at one of my dialog stories and tell me what you think.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1776960 by Not Available.
hahahahaha love it. and i love dialog stories. Good interpretation of Michael jackson. It flowed very well, if there were and grammatical errors I missed them. I love to write stories only in dialog, you inspire me. Im new here to WDC maybe you could look at one of my dialog stories and tell me what you think.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1776960 by Not Available.
I love Dialog stories, especially funny ones. I enjoyed this alot. I understood who was talking and it had a funny ending. you inspire me to write more dialog. I think Ill do one about aliens too, have you tried the dialog 500 contest? come check out some of my stuff.
This was a very heart warming poem. At first I thought the speaking character was an old lady then I re read and figured out it was from a dogs point of view. very good rhyming. my favorite part was the four lines talking about the stomach growling. very creative.
I have just barley entered into the competition am excited to see what happens. I love writing in dialog, it is my absolute favorite thing, second to none. This is a great contest, not to mention I love the logo at the top of the page.
This is a very descriptive and dark poem. I think you definatly got your point across on how much you like pain. I hope you don't kill yourself but I do hope you write some more poetry. You have a talent for grousum and gore. Maybe a horror story would be fun?
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FIRST GLANCE 
FIRST GLANCE
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FIRST GLANCE
