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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jawhar
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Trapped  Open in new Window.
Review by Jawhar Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good story. But consider reading the whole story once you've finished writing.

Keep writing.
2
2
Review by Jawhar Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Honestly, this story or rather, the part one of the story is a drama. A family looking for happiness instead of the hardships and dark parts of life they had to endure. The whole part of the story is staged after the protagonist returns from his trying day of school.

At some part of the story, the style of the author seems to be likely to the style of Ernest Hemingway. This is just my thought.

Overall, the story feels happy and looking forward for the succeeding chapter.


3
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Review of The Bus  Open in new Window.
Review by Jawhar Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Honestly, this story is rather funny and ironic one. The way the author express the debut of the 'large' man is humorous. This story also gives us, the readers an unavoidable value- We should not judge a person by his/her appearance.

Instead of using 'decided', 'felt' or 'realized' could have been used. This is just my point.

Overall, a great story. Keep writing.
4
4
Review of The Dragon Riders  Open in new Window.
Review by Jawhar Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Honestly, I would say that this story is a rather dark but a beautifully molded fantasy. The setting is amazingly written. One can aesthetically picture the hill and the surrounding the protagonist is in. The dark part of the story is also intriguing. One can feel the protagonist's death of his father and the deeds of the rude men. The sky and stars are expressed beautifully.

While The last two paragraphs which conveys the arrival of 'dragon warriors' brings much anticipation to the readers, it can be expressed much more elaborately and can bring more anticipation to the readers.

The whole fantasy is elegant and aesthetic in the writer's own way. Keep writing
5
5
Review by Jawhar Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a good story. A rather funny drama happening in a happy family. Kids would love this during their night story session. Keep writing
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