I was intrigued by this opening chapter. When it was over I still wanted to know so many things. What’s the deal with her father? What happened to the two friends that Paul, Morgan and Stuart lost? How did they find out about her? What’s the deal with the Millenium Potion? I’m also looking forward to finding out about Athenais' apparently long sordid history. I’m also want to see Rabbit.
I was reminded of a quieter, seedier space bar than the one in Star Wars, and Athenais as Han Solo, but with bigger problems. It is very obvious that this is a rough place. It felt dangerous - always on the verge of something nasty breaking out. Having said that, there was a lot of “telling” about how rough it was, so it might have been interesting to “see” a fight break out, even if only for a moment.
I loved the bartender and the owner’s names – “Giggles” and “Rabbit”. I’m waiting for Giggles to go nuts and I envision Rabbit as a little hyperactive guy (I haven’t read the next chapter yet, so I'm probably be wrong). Athenais’ nickname of Attie kind of “humanized” her as well. The bit about how she stopped every psychologist from telling her what was wrong with her because she didn’t want to ruin the surprise – I thought that was so cool.
With all the creativeness, I was put off by the names Paul, Morgan, and Stuart. Perhaps it is because they are Colonists (or so we think) that their names should stand apart. Also, Stuart got lost to me in this chapter.
I'm moving on to the next chapter...
Keep writing and I’ll keep reading!
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I was intrigued by this opening chapter. When it was over I still wanted to know so many things. What’s the deal with her father? What happened to the two friends that Paul, Morgan and Stuart lost? How did they find out about her? What’s the deal with the Millenium Potion? I’m also looking forward to finding out about Athenais' apparently long sordid history. I’m also want to see Rabbit. 
I was reminded of a quieter, seedier space bar than the one in Star Wars, and Athenais as Han Solo, but with bigger problems. It is very obvious that this is a rough place. It felt dangerous - always on the verge of something nasty breaking out. Having said that, there was a lot of “telling” about how rough it was, so it might have been interesting to “see” a fight break out, even if only for a moment.
I loved the bartender and the owner’s names – “Giggles” and “Rabbit”. I’m waiting for Giggles to go nuts and I envision Rabbit as a little hyperactive guy (I haven’t read the next chapter yet, so I'm probably be wrong). Athenais’ nickname of Attie kind of “humanized” her as well. The bit about how she stopped every psychologist from telling her what was wrong with her because she didn’t want to ruin the surprise – I thought that was so cool.
With all the creativeness, I was put off by the names Paul, Morgan, and Stuart. Perhaps it is because they are Colonists (or so we think) that their names should stand apart. Also, Stuart got lost to me in this chapter.