I would recommend first and most of all changing the title of this piece. There is nothing associating a jungle either as a conceit or a literal reference in the entire work. Even your use of the term "beast" is more fairytale than jungle and doesn't come into play until the last few paragraphs. This may seem minor but everything connected to a piece of writing should have purpose and lend something to the whole.
Next, your main character lacks credibility on the whole and your antagonist is even less believable. This is primarily because you set them up as caricatures of good and bad, victim and perpetrator. Relationships are complicated and messy and _rarely_ if ever is one person wholly victimized. I understand we are only getting one perspective but I wonder if that is the best approach...
Perhaps you could alternate vignettes with changes in perspective to give the reader actual scenes/interactions between Paul and Valerie. Then you could have Valerie take the same action (hiding with a gun and then shooting Paul) and let the reader decide if it is justified or not.
Think about the stories you best like to read. Is the protagonist always completely innocent? Do you always agree with their actions? Is the antagonist ever someone you sympathize with even though you don't like their point of view or motivation? I would give these kinds of questions consideration before starting a story. Maybe even do a character sketch before writing just to avoid making/keeping them one-dimensional.
And finally, with respect to dialogue I would recommend saying the words out loud to yourself and asking if anyone you know talks that way. Example:
Would Paul really say (in response to Valerie's hesitation about seeing a violent movie) :
“I never heard that. Besides, real life is violent. You’re being a baby. Because I love you so much, this time, we will go to something else. Since I really do want to see this movie, Bobby and I will go next weekend.”
Or might he just say: "Hmmph. Real life is violent. Bet Bobby'd like it."
This is really well done! I am a wickedly ruthless reviewer and a real stickler for structure, grammar, story arc, punctuation, etc. You have executed all of these almost flawlessly -- and it is interesting and fun too.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting something up for public consumption that has been edited well and obviously researched on some level -- I applaud you for digging deeper and not relying on the cliche of "toadstool" and "eye of newt" as brew ingredients.
Your characters are quirky without being over the top and their motivations and actions are clear and believable. You also give just enough detail without overburdening your reader with unecessary adjectives and overworked descriptions.
Again, thank you for such an enjoyable read. Job well done.
Overall this is really well written and held my interest the whole way through. As a singular criticism I would say be careful about your tenses. You slip into second person from time to time addressing the reader directly and then slide back into third person. Stay with third, it works.
I am very interested to read more. I would suggest including dialogue at some point. It can become difficult to maintain interest over long periods and chapters without breaking up the exposition by some conversation.
It's a good start. I sincerely hope William does something unexpected in the next installment. Keeping him completely good and impossibly perfect would make him two-dimensional and much less sympathetic as a protagonist. As well, having a completely "bad" antagonist can make things cartoonish in the worst possible sense so I hope Vern does something nice in the next installment too.
Really hoping to read more soon.
Good luck.
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