\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jessyj73
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
139 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The beach  Open in new Window.
Review by JessyJ HeyHeyHey Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This is a nice snapshot of what could be an intresting story. I saw the frightened girl and felt her untrusting pain. At the same time however I felt like our narrator was a talking head. I couldn't tell you if the narrator was male or female. Your descritptions are amazing and beautiful. Your characters could use some dept but as I said before this seems to be a snapshot of a deep story. It could expand both forward and back from this particular point.

Suggestions:

"The broken person stood shattered before me, silently pleading with me, but how could I help her?"

Good Work. Write On!
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jessyj73