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Review Requests: ON
3,502 Public Reviews Given
3,550 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Sumojo Author Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         I was there! I could see the chickens in the henhouse, the hens scattering in fear. and there's always that nasty fox. He wants what nature has intended for him, it's not clear if he'll get it here.

         24 Syllables, nothing more. Well done on meeting the prompt! Thank you for sharing!



Jim

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2
2
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window. is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!*CakeP*


Hey Mary Ann MCPhedran Author Icon,

         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 10th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a beautiful poem you've written. It does have 2 or 3 small errors that might prevent it from receiving really high grades, but as I said, they are very minor.

         I loved the twist in the last line when you reveals it's all about a tree in your garden!

         As I mentioned earlier, I saw 2 or 3 very minor errors for you to correct, should you decide to edit this,

         1. Elegant glad in green First, I think it would be better of you used Elegantly in place of Elegant. Secondly, I think you meant clad, not glad.

         That was it, both very minor errors in the same line! thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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3
3
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Carol St.Ann Author IconMail Icon,

         Hi Carol! I'm on a quest to review each of the 96 genres WDC lists, today I'm on Biographical, and this popped up in my feed! Nice!

         This is an excellent biography in some ways, and not so excellent in some ways. Please allow me to explain.

         You prioritized family and rightly so. I think the order of listing in your Essay titled 'Thankfulness' is correct. I - Family. II - Friends. III - Health. IV - Technology. And V - LIFE. In fact, I love the way you've prioritized these! What I saw though, is that Family is almost 7 times longer than Friends. I'm not saying it shouldn't be, it's just that every other category is even shorter still, with the last Category is 10% of the length of Family. And, I'm not sure you need the Technology Category either.

         If you decide to edit this, I don't believe you should shorten the Family post. That tells us so much about you life, growing up, the people who raised you, everything. If anything, I would add to the Categories of Friends, Health, and LIFE. I'm not making any suggestions on Technology. *Smile*

         An excellent Biographical account of you as you aged. Thank you for sharing!




Jim

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4
4
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey TeeGateM Author IconMail Icon

         Like my pal JACE Author Icon, I am reviewing stories or poems by genre. WDC has 96 genres, I'm on day 5 right now, my chosen genre is Arts. This review is for "What Actually Keeps Creativity Alive" Open in new Window. in your blog.

         I love the points you make about keeping Creativity alive. When I joined WDC almost 16 years ago, I started receiving reviews of course. In my eyes, I was amazed at the comments I received on the same item! I quickly learned to read their comments and do what I felt needed to be done. I guess that's like your advice here in comment #2: Creativity thrives on resonance, not consensus. Each one of your points about keeping Creativity alive are excellent. I love that you explained when you mean for each point.

         This is very well written, I just wish that more WDC members would read this and take your words to heart. Unfortunately, most members don't want advice on how to write a review. They don't feel they need it, but man oh man, they do!

         This is an excellent post/entry in your blog, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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5
5
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey Redtowrite Author IconMail Icon,

         Like my friend JACE Author Icon, I thought I'd review each of the 96 WDC genre's WDC uses. This is my fourth one so far.

         I love the story within your poem, it's a good one, I can see an older Lion (Stan) kind of waltzing down a street, looking in shop windows he passes. I loved how you mentioned the townsfolk and the idea each one of them had about catching the lion.

         But, in your poem, your rhythm is good. The poem seems to use an AABB rhyme scheme at the end of each line, but the rhyming is off in several places. I'll give you a couple of examples. Second verse, lines 3 & 4. Teeth and town are no where close to a rhyme. In the eighth verse, you wrote:

Joe Phillips steps out of his saloon.
Ready for business, stained apron on.


         Again, saloon and on are no where close to rhyming. Salon and on might work, but that changes the whole verse. If you didn't mean this to be an AABB rhyme scheme, you should add a dropnote about that.

         Please don't take my comments about the rhyming wrong, I said I loved the story in your poem, but not the rhyming. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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6
6
Review of Lost  Open in new Window.
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey RatDog Author Icon,

         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 25th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a little odd for a story about a Grandpa, then again, maybe it isn't. Grandpa seems a off perhaps. Maybe he's senile, or has the beginnings of Alzheimer's or Dementia.

         I loved how you added in song titles to this. Songs like, Sunshine On My Shoulders (John Denver), Give Peace A Chance (John Lennon), Should I Stay Or Should I Go (The Clash), Somewhere, Over A Rainbow (Judy Garland, a separate version even more beautiful (Israel KamakawiwoÊ»ole)), and more I probably don't recognize.

         A nice story that can make you wonder about your own future. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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7
7
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hey Maryann Author IconMail Icon!

         I'm trying to emulate my buddy JACE Author Icon and review something from each of the 96 genres WDC lists. We'll see how long I stick with it. It's only day two for me.

         Has it really been five years since this raid was done? Wow! I love the layout of this, it's compact because of the drop-downs & informative. I clicked each drop down and was surprised to see the number of invalid items in each. I see you mentioned Mona
(eyestar~* Author Icon), sometimes it's hard to grasp that she's gone.

         I do think that with all the invalid items in this that you may want to make this private (with a passkey of course). You could just delete this, but you might want to keep it as a reference for yourself, a way to view past raid items. Just a thought.

         An interesting piece, thank you for sharing!




Sum1


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8
8
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Joey Says...Where's Winter? Author IconMail Icon ,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         I was wondering where your story was taking me, it wasn't until I got to the end that I discovered the destination. I really like how you tied our real life on WDC to your story with this line. How much will a solstice night’s fleeting echo affect your muse, your entries in our forum’s newsfeed, and your ports?

         I wasn't sure of Rainey's intentions until about the middle of the story when you wrote, If I ran, the fairies wouldn’t chase me—their dance was a gift, not a snare.

         You also wrote this line, Their presence here was a ritual of renewal—the Dance of Wraith. Wraith didn't seem to be the correct word, so I looked it up. The AI Overview said this about a Wraith. A wraith is a spectral, often sinister ghost or apparition from Scottish folklore, frequently interpreted as an omen of death or the soul of a departed person. Physically, they are depicted as shadowy, incorporeal figures, sometimes mimicking the form of the living. So I looked deeper for the true meaning. Merriam-Webster Dictionary has this. I paraphrased it. The exact origin of the word wraith is misty, however, and etymologists can only trace it back to the early 16th century—in particular to a 1513 translation of Virgil's Aeneid by Gavin Douglas (the Scotsman used wraith to name apparitions of both the dead and the living). In current English, wraith has taken on additional, less spooky, meanings; it now often suggests a shadowy—but not necessarily scary—lack of substance. It still doesn't sound right to me, but I don't have an alternate suggestion for you.

         The flow of the story was very good, the small amount of dialog you used was excellent. A nice story that I enjoyed. Thank you for sharing!





Sum1

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9
9
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hey iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a visit. For the first time in while, I'm happy I did!

         The dialog between the two of them really carried this. I loved the small twist when he discovered that they both had accounts on WDC. Her actions and interactions with him were wonderful. To me, it was a bit like The Breakfast Club (Movie), with them both being in detention. And Mr. Peppers seemed just like the teacher in that movie also.

         The other twist I didn't see, was that she had written several erotica stories which he had reviewed! His name of Potterhead fit his personality well. I've met about 10 WDC members and have appreciated getting to know them in person.

         An interesting and refreshing story. Thank you for sharing!





Sum1

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10
10
Review of Advent  Open in new Window.
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Beholden Author IconMail Icon

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         I love a good Sci-Fi story, this one did not disappoint me one bit. My first thought about Eden was that it was Earth, they had somehow traveled back in time. Ancient Aliens if you will. That idea was shot when you wrote The white streaks coalesced soon after that. Atmosphere studies revealed that it was breathable, quite close to Earth’s mix, in fact.

         This line made me pause a bit though. When green and brown continents could be seen, we were sure. Not only was Eden habitable, it had life already. By seeing the Green & Brown continents, how could they know that the planet had life already?

         I love how you tied Keats poem to this. Of course placing that text in Italics made it easy to see.

         Despite loving your story so much, I did see one small sentence for your consideration, should you decide to edit this.

         1. This was a voyage of exploration, after all, and we were only continuing our brief in an unexpected sector. Is there a word missing here, or am I reading it wrong?

         An excellent Sci-Fi story that anyone can love and appreciate. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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11
11
Review of Rx: Laughter  Open in new Window.
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hey Sophy Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         Your story meant for a WDC Newsletter is an excellent one to read. What do I find excellent about it? Because it's all about laughing, laughing at whatever suits your fancy. Your mother found Weekend At Bernie's to laugh with/at. I enjoyed that movie, but it didn't hit my funny bone that hard. I'd have to go with What's Up, Doc? with Barbra Streisand and Ryan O'Neal. The first time I saw it, I was rolling on the floor with laughter.

         I used to laugh so loud that anyone I was with would get embarrassed. Like the ones you described, huge belly laughs. Sometimes I'd end up with muscle aches in my stomach from laughing so hard.

         This is well written. Try as I might I couldn't find any corrections that would need your attention. Thank you for sharing!





Sum1

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12
12
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Moarzjasac Author IconMail Icon

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         This is an excellent poem you've written. I can relate to much of it, I've dreamed the same type of dream it seems.

         The three verses flowed so easily, each tying to the next. I too tend to write in a AABB scheme, you could call it my preferred poetry format.

         As much as I loved your poem, I did see one small thing for you to look at, should you decide to edit this.

         1. Or place for me,m my head to lay. You can see the usage of the extra 'm' in the line.

         2. This is a personal preference. You may want to consider centering the poem on the page.

         An excellent poem. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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13
13
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey WriterRick Author IconMail Icon

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a visit.

         This is a nice poem you've written, but I'm afraid it's not a Limerick. At least in the truest sense of the word. Here is the definition of a Limerick. A limerick is a short, humorous five-line poem with a specific structure: an AABBA rhyme scheme (lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme; lines 3 and 4 rhyme) and a distinct rhythm (usually anapestic), often telling a silly or bawdy (They are often 'dirty' in nature) story with a punchline in the final line. As I read it, I knew it wasn't a Limerick, and looked it up.

         Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed your poem, but it's not a Limerick. It is a very good poem though. This would be perfect for others to see during the Writing.Com celebration.

         If you choose to edit this, I have one suggestion. Center the poem on the page.

         An excellent poem dedicate to the site. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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14
14
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Tiger*girl Author Icon,


         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 23rd WDC Anniversary!

         This is an excellent idea, even if it did belong to another member at first. I love knowing where someone is from. I've traveled extensively in my life, I love dining local instead of dining at National/Major chains.

         As much as I love this, I noticed that there are over 2 dozen former members listed. If you do edit this add my name to those hailing from Illinois.

         An interesting list, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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15
15
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey The Bearded Chieftain Author Icon

         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 23rd WDC Anniversary!

         I really enjoyed reading your article/story about The Promises We Keep. I found it to be interesting also. Old Souls are very interesting, I'd like to think I'm an old soul, but you would have to ask those who know me well to get that question answered. I haven't always been one, I think I've matured to be one.

         Though I really enjoyed reading this, there are a couple of things you might want to consider, should you decide to edit this.

         1. Each person around them that that casually tosses promises out like chaff upon the breeze and fails to meet the obligation, is adding yet another wound upon the soul of this principled person to be carried until time softens the scar.

         2. In your brief description, cometary should be commentary.


         An enjoyable read, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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16
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey HollisFrances Author Icon


         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 4th WDC Anniversary!

         First, are we related? I had a Grandma Gray, she lived in Sumter South Carolina. *Smile*


         On to my review. You provide us with 5 short stories here about your children. While I enjoyed each short story, there are some things you should consider, if you choose to edit this.

         1. On the way, Alan was arguing that he did not want to do all of the chores he that I gave him, which was not much in my opinion. Either you left out the word 'had', or you didn't delete this word. Very minor thing really.

         2. You've heard this one before I'm sure, but as a different person speaks, it should start a new line.

         3. She then smiled and skipped away repeatedly chanting, I'm more mature than Dad is..." You're missing the opening quotation marks in this line.

         4. In my humble opinion, you should use a different font. This one seems to be 'scrunched' up. While doing this, use a larger font, maybe a size 4 (if you use the old WDC fonts), or 14 if using the new system. It just makes it easier to read for us older members.


         A pretty enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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17
17
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey Whiskerfacebythefireplace Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         This is an interesting Religious essay. Have you ever considered how good things are in your life, while others suffer greatly? It's not I'm against Religion, but consider this. Jesus drove the merchants, money changers, and sellers of animals out of the Jerusalem Temple, overturning their tables. There's more, but I wasn't going to go there in a review. Have you ever thought that our Church's today are like those Temples in his time. I do, all the time. I may not be correct, but that's the impression I get.

         I enjoyed your story, your life seems to be made for you, enjoy it! Well written, you state your point well. As much as I enjoyed it, I did see a couple of minor issues, should you decide to edit this essay.

{indent]1.I rock the n my chair, a motion I am capable of because of how God designed my body to work. I don't understand this sentence. Perhaps it should read I rock in my chair, a motion I am capable of because of how God designed my body to work. Only you can answer that.

         2. I know they are the results of the gifts given by the giverof every good gift. It seems there should be a space between giver and of.

         3. He is both the Lamb of God and the Liion of Judah. You should delete one of the i's in Liion.


         An interesting essay, it needs a little editing TLC to allow it to shine.




Sum1

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18
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hey Emberly Gray Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review & Review and thought I'd drop by for a visit.

         You've started a good story here. I enjoyed the plot and flow of it, but it needs more. I loved the idea of a time capsule from 2026, but you have me wondering about the Great Collapse. A little backstory about the collapse would really help the reader understand what happened back then.

         I do think that a little dialog by Elias would help. Right now the story is all Tell, with No Show to it. As you probably know, Showing gets a reader really involved in the story, makes them want to continue. With tell, it's like we're sitting around a campfire swapping stories.

         Should you decide to edit this, you could add a little bit of dialog with something like the following.

         1. What did Elias think to himself when he found the capsule?

         2. I bet he would have cussed loudly as the gel began to infiltrate his suit.

         3. Most likely he would have screamed before his last thought,

         It's small things like this that will not only lengthen the story, but pull a reader in causing them to want to read more. You want to build in a reader a compulsion to continue reading.

         A good story, it just needs a little bit of Writing TLC. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1


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19
Review of Marvelous Melia  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey ♥Marvelous Melia♥ Author IconMail Icon

         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Reviews page and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         I read a couple of your items, particularly the one about the 2005 Convention. I wish I'd been a member then, I would have gone (schedule permitting). I chose to review this one though, and see you haven't been on the site since November! *Frown*

         I like your choice of words for this word search, it does help a member get to know you a little more. What could be better? A Biography of course! However, IF you choose to write one, I recommend using a Thesaurus & Spell Checker. I noticed a few misused words in your article about the 2005 Convention, and noticed one thing here.

         1. I write partially to educate If you write Partially to educate, what's the rest of your writing intended to do? Or did you mean to say I write particularly to educate? This is a minor error, but it does stand out.

         A nice Word Search that helps one get to know the author more than one does now. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey John Author IconMail Icon,

         I saw this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a spell.

         I have to say, I'm a bit more competent than Skylar in a kitchen. *Smile*

         I was smiling as I read this, wondering what else Skylar could have done, Motor Oil in place of Olive Oil? Wow. The worst we did, as newly weds even, was to leave baked lasagna in the oven overnight. The worst part was, we were staying (house sitting) at my Commanding Officer's house! Yikes! We had forgotten about the Lasagna, until we turned on the oven the next day. (This was before Microwaves were available for purchase).

         She might follow recipes, but it doesn't seem she understands what following a recipe really means.

         Definitely a humorous story that makes someone who can cook decently, cringe. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey DelusionsofDying Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd stop in for a spell.

         Your story in a little interesting, I'll say that about it. I see that it's a chapter in a book you're writing, so I'll not worry too much about the basics of a story. I do recommend that should you decide to edit this series, that you do a couple of things.

         1. Increase your font size. It appears to be a font size 3, I recommend using a size four font. Why? It makes it a lot easier to read is all.

         2. Along with increasing the font size, double space the lines between paragraphs. Again, it makes it easier to read, and also allows it to look more polished.

         3. Add a short prelude to each chapter so a reader (reviewer) can learn what's going on. I had no clue about a lot of terms you used, an example would be 'All-Wise'. I'm fairly certain you explained this in an earlier chapter, but a little info by way of a prelude would help.


         An interesting chapter to a much larger work. Thank you for sharing!






Sum1

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Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey lorilady Author Icon,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 20th WDC Anniversary!

         First, I'm sorry you were laid off. Since this was written 16 years ago, I assume you've moved on from that.

         I really enjoyed your poem about your feelings when you were laid off. However, no where in your poem do you mention that happened. It seems you danced around the subject with your analogy of the Howling Beast. I enjoyed it as I've said, I just feel it has to tie in to being laid off is all. And it doesn't.

         To show you why I don't think your analogy is good, do the following.

         1. Print the poem, make sure you don't print the brief description. Now read it and tell me how you know it's your feelings about being laid off.

         If I may, I have a couple of suggestions for you, should you decide to edit this.

         a. Include the poem's title in the body of the text, above the Poem itself.

         b. Center the poem on the page with the {center} command. (Personal preference here).

         A nice poem that doesn't hit the mark as far as being laid off is concerned. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey tophatfiddle Author IconMail Icon,

         I was browsing for something to review tonight and came across this.

         Once again, you've crafted quite the story here. It's part of a larger work it seems, but I don't see it in your portfolio right now. This is quite accomplishment, writing 1000+ words/day as you've been doing. I'm hoping you tie at least some of them together. I would rate this a bit higher if it was part of a larger work, maybe a novel. Right now though, you start a reader on an interesting story, only to drop them. Right as the reader becomes engrossed in the story, you end the story, or maybe end the chapter. I think that would cause a reader to question if they really want to read more of your writings. Is that what a writer wants? We both know the answer to that.

         A good story that really needs to be continued. Thank you for sharing!



Jim

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Review of Pleasure  Open in new Window.
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey JACE Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a visit.

         Well done! I wondered what was happening here. You described the scene well, you had me. Except for one very minor issue.

         Wouldn't the Dentist be wearing a mask? If so, how would she see them as his tongue caressed them? Though you didn't say she saw that, you only said, His soft full lips parted slightly, glistening in the light as his tongue slowly caressed them. This could have occurred without her seeing it, but the implication was there just the same.

         A VERY short story with an ending that may surprise you. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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Review of Lessons in Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Jim Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Jacky Author IconMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         This is a good short story, as long as you aren't looking to read something with depth to it. What I mean is, (and this is not being critical of your story), it's a good short story that seems to jump into the middle of things.

         Boy, Ted sure seems to be burning the candle at both ends romance wise. Oh wait, both ends, and the middle! How many other women is he flirting with or romancing? With three of them showing up at this party, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

         I have no comments for improvement, though this is far from perfect. The beginning seems to be the middle of a larger story. The end leaves us hanging. The plot is developed decently well, you show us that Ted is indeed a Playboy. Interesting.

         A nice story that should be a little longer to allow development of the plot. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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