Images In Ink reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we all put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
A Rainbow of Colors is about a twenty first birthday, a surprise hot air balloon ride and a ring. This is not a scary story or a mystery but it is a good story none the less. It is well written and need one small fix.
drizzling"..she = drizzling"... she or drizzling" , she
Good Job
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at
all those beautiful images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
Images In Ink reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we all put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Marriage as a Jungle is about deciding if a life situation is worth the pain it causes. WOW - this scares the ... out of me. A great story and I hope no part of it is real. Not slow up top this time - much better. Descriptions are short and crisp to keep the story going. There are editing issues and I list a few. Good Job!!
Suggestions:
(")Paul, when (you) finishing taking out your frustrations on my body, I wait until you fall into a drunken sleep, then I go out to the shed. Sometimes I stay there in the cold until two or three in the morning, just to be sure you are asleep. The pain from the bruises and cuts are just numb.
Paul, I have appointed myself both the judge and jury. The evidence, your sins, results in a fair sentence.(")
(you're) or (you are) You are speaking directly to Paul so you need to enclose all those sections in quotes. I am going to skip the others but you know where they are.
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at
all those beautiful images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
Images In Ink reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we all put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
She was the Quiet One is a drama about Anita and Alice, the daughters of a wonderful artist who death leads tragedy. The story starts out slow, but builds nicely. There are no scares but the story is a good one. It is in need of major editing, and I list some suggestions below but there are many more spots that should be addressed.
Suggestions:
The memorial service was attended by fifty invited colleagues, friends and his small (family; two) grown daughters and a grand-daughter. (family, two) the section after the semicolon is a fragment.
He always took a break so he could hear about her (day; school) activities and friends. same here - should be a comma.
What the helll?” = hell!
"Good Night, Baby Bunting, Daddy's (gona) a hunting(. He) will bring Anita's skin to wrap his baby Alice in(".)
"Good Night, Baby Bunting, Daddy's (gonna) a hunting(, he) will bring Anita's skin to wrap his baby Alice in."
Reshape into a sentence:
Anita looking serene, a new mother breast-feeding her child.
Anita looked serene like a new mother breast-feeding her child.
Alice had (began) the spiral of depression then (begun)
Of course he had never painted their mother either. Of course, he
spiderweb = spider web
It was straight, (like her own) and she would make sure Rosie would become her daughter. (like hers)
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at
all those beautiful images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
Images In Ink reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we all put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
His Hunger is short story - I will not say about what. I enjoyed it, but since I am still laughing I think it a comedy. In this line - I watched in shock; total aw seemed to wash over me as I watched him. Aw works but I think you meant awe. Entertaining with an original twist. Good job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at
all those beautiful images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
Images In Ink reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we all put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
The Last Phone Call is a short story about a man giving his wife a good morning call. The story is a well written and entertaining speedy read. I enjoyed it, although I would consider it drama rather than scary unless of course you are the wife. No real errors but a couple suggestions:
school girl - schoolgirl works better
sugarnips - Sugarnips or sugar nips seems better to me
Goob job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at
all those beautiful images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
Images In Ink reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we all put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
My letter to my brother is a plain letter from a werewolf to his equally dangerous brother. The story is a creative idea and is well told although not scary. The ending was obvious and without any surprises to chill me along the way. I found several spelling and grammar errors, including a split infinitive, excluding the period dialect. I would suggest an edit through a word processor.
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at
all those beautiful images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello Claire welcome to WDC. Hindsight is a poem about looking back. Great flow and rhyme delivered in four quatrains tell the story of what might have been done differently traveling through life's journey. No errors - Nice Job
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello, again Superwoman. Just Being Me is about "I'm persecuted for being smart. People lie about me all the time. It's high school!" The poem is very nicely rhymed and has great flow while doing a good job of telling its story. Good Job!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello Superwoman and welcome to WDC. The poem is a one stanza teen pain poem with some end rhyme. The poem has good flow and ok rhyme. The hurt comes through clearly although it is hard to determine where it comes from - it seems to be more than friends. Some action and setting with clarification would help drive the poem. Nice Job!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Twilight's Kiss is a nature poem written in Free-verse and delivered with four quatrains and three tercets - nice approach. The poem is a fantasy being played out in a moonlight dance. The poem looks great on the page and has nice flow. One suggestion:
Saturated leaves of green (leaves is plural)
cling to what drips from its petals (its is singular)
Saturated leave of green
clings to what drips from its petals or
Saturated leaves of green
cling to what drips from their petals
Good job!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello again erra. Raindrops is a poem about, seeing how raindrops glitter and shimmer and carry a message. The poem is a Free-Verse written in five tercets. The write is a combination nature and religious poem and conveys its emotions well. Just one small suggestion:
There are no (sign posts) to lead me through. (signposts)
Good Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello miss kona and welcome to WDC. "the wind" is a poem about the wind and its relation to us. The poem is a short-lined five stanza Free-Verse. The short lines work well to give the wind some blowing power. The poem compares nature to mankind and does a thoughtful job. I have some suggestions:
The opens on the soft-side, maybe you would consider rearranging the lines to make a better opening impact - you may try:
The darkened room
With blinds over windows
Echoing the blackness
Never ending inside.
The wind that blows,
Will hear our story.
Yet still it knows not,
Why we sit here and cry.
Not really a typo but in this line: Yet just like our selves - if I understand the intent ourselves is a stronger word.
I stumble over these lines a little:
It sounds the world in
Is just its way
Try:
It sounds in the world
In just its way
Good Job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello erra, and welcome to WDC. Rhythm of Unity is about, if we could only dance to the rhythm of unity. The Free-Verse opens and closed with couplets that enclose three tercets. I like the strength of the couplet opening and the way the lines tie together. The tercets do not disappoint and paint the picture on the opening lines very well. The couplet is repeated as the close - This poem asks questions, of which we know the answers. The close is the same as the opening, I would guess as a metaphor that the problems are on going - good idea. The Free-Verse flow nicely and is well written. I have one suggestion:
She sobs over what he has robbed from her, thinking if she would ever recover? The way stated this is not a question, although I understand the intent, so I cannot bring myself to reduce the rating on what I understand. Since this is a musing or wondering question of the mind you may try this: She sobs over what he has robbed from her, "thinking if she would ever recover."
Good Job!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello Abu and welcome to WDC. Writing Poetry is about the tussle with poetry. The poem written in six very nicely rhyme and well flowing tercets is a comedy. It is creative, has great voice and best of all it made me laugh. There are no errors - loved it!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
ABC's for DSX is an alphabet poem written for the author's boys. The poem is a loving and sentimental to the author children, delivered in one stanza with 25-lines. The flow and rhyme are good - I do get tongue twisted in a spot or two and the last foe - lines break the rhyme pattern for no reason that I can see. Suggestion:
Remove the repeated rhymes and smooth the last four - lines.
Good job.
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello NOVAcatmando and welcome to WDC. Why I don’t finish a novel is a Free-Verse about "Why I am a poet or why I don’t finish a novel." The poem is a good read and has good flow and is written without error. The presentation is eye appealing. I have no suggestions - Great job!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
MY QUEEN? Is a whimsical Tragedy (mix of drama / comedy with a twist). The poem is seven quatrains in aabb rhyme with one repeat. The poem has good flow and rhyme throughout and is interesting and creative. I see no errors. Suggestion:
I wonder why he looks so sad? An option here is - since this is more a thought than a question it could be indicated as:
" I wonder why he looks so sad." I like the question mark here - good idea - maiden” she?
Great job - bravo!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Hello smithy and welcome to WDC. BETRAYAL is a one stanza sixteen-line poem with a non-repeated end rhyme aabbccddeeffgghh. The first thing I like to do is compare the opening line to the closing line. In betrayed both are equally strong - bravo! The poem is about BETRAYAL and asks the question, how far would you go to keep your lover? The poem has great flow and is pointed and the rhyme is very good. Suggestion:
One problem area:
She’s made her choice, that choice is me.
I told her you were dead, you see? - This is not a question so the punctuation is not correct - either - you see. OR,
I told her you were dead. Do you see? or I told her you were dead, you see!
Good poem and good write.
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
A Global Tragedy is a poem written in 11 quatrains in abcb. The poem is an enviromenatl and political piece about destroying our Earth and the need to stop or face the consequences. The poem has good flow and a nice rhyme. The content is a rehash of liberal politics without any new twists to added to make the poem interesting. Suggestions:
I cannot find the authors voice here as I did in "The Terror of Black." I feel like I am listening to the discovery channel or CNN. Don't be afraid to be creative - put some edge in this and sell your opinion - don't repeat common points as we hear them everyday - be inventive.
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Sadness is a Free-Verse delivered in four quatrains. The poem seems to be about depression indicated by the dark cloud metaphor. The flow is good and I see no errors. Sadness is a good write that could use some edge to make it more interesting. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
The contest reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
drew92 welcome to WDC! I am jimmyfin and the judge of this contest.
The Terror of Black is a Free-verse poem delivered in three stanzas. The poem opens with a strong first line containing a simile. The short lines help deliver the tension of the simile. The stanza alerts us to a threat and an epinephrine like adrenaline rush caused by fear. The description of the rush carries through in the second stanza with more simile, and here we discover a clue to the threat - Green eyes glowing. A mystery - who's or what's greens eyes - adding more tension. Third stanza - the fear is realized and the victim sees he/she is being watched - perhaps stalked. It his here that we are introduced to the epiphany of the poem - fight for life at all cost - escape the danger. A very good Free-Verse well presented. I have one suggestion:
Regardless of how I read the poem this line needs a comma:()
In a wave of awareness(,)
His mind raced
A nice job drew!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
Rising Star Member to Member reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we write, for our various reasons, entertain and help others think. I thank you for the gift you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Alone is a freestyle (spontaneous – little or no editing) poem, written in free verse (without strict meter or rhyme) about being alone in a relationship, or being suddenly bereft. The piece opens with the author alone and in despair over a relationship. The images are clear and presented in vivid strong poetic language. The work then move use to the inner though process of the situation. The tears and seeking relief from answers and the logic of the situation are painted using wonderful nature words. I picture the author walking alone outside on a cool or cold day mulling over the situation. Then we reach the realization of the relational questions that must be asked under these circumstances. The questions lead to the poems epiphany. I have been reading these types of poems all weekend written by famous poets. This piece is better than 98% of them. I have no suggestions - this is a beautifully written poem, and I love everything about it. Great Job!!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all the images you paint.
These group reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Something to Think About is about those times we make parenting too difficult. This static item is listed as other so I will call it an essay. It is brief with a point to make and wastes no ink in saying it. A very well written piece with punched words in bold or caps. I agree and like the essay - good job!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
These group reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
Dead End is a short story about an investigator for defense that has amorous hopes concerning the pretty defendant. The story is entertaining and well written. I don't see any errors. Nice Job!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
These group reviews are in the spirit of helping you. What I see may not be your intent. Do not change what your vision and heart say should remain. The images we put in ink, for our various reasons, entertain and help others to think. I thank you for the gift that you give and the opportunity to open my mind.
All that I'm Good For is a Free-Verse about being fed-up with a group of people. Nice flow without rhyme. I wonder how you would feel combining this into a one stanza Free-Verse as is the poem does not fit traditional couplet style. One spelling error: forefeit = forfeit - Good poem better served with one stanza!!
Please continue to write from you heart, that is our art. Continue to let us sneak a peek at all those beautiful positive images you put in ink. jimmyfin.
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