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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jknew
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4 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by JK Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful and emotional story! I felt really sorry for William. I loved how he did not turn cynical or harsh even in such dire circumstances. On the contrary, the ending showed his renewed resolve to be optimistic and loving. You have a strong character and a strong story line.

The only suggestion I have is to show rather than tell. I dialogues and gestures can be added in few places to show the talents of William and his sufferings in his uncle's farm.

I would love to learn how William's life will turn out to be.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.
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Review by JK Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,

I just read your story and really like it. I loved the way the story unfolded.

Things I liked: The descriptions are almost poetic and gives a feel of gliding along with the story.
"Capturing them like wispy butterflies dancing on the breeze" - I have really fallen in love with this line. Its very poetic. I felt intrigued with the beginning of the story and hooked me up to find out how the MC is going to handle the situation.

Suggestions: Please note that this is just my opinion. I was expecting some kind of twist in the end. Some kind of surprise. When the MC went for walk it is easy to guess that once she is away from Robert she is going to find her muse back. Is there something in which you could surprise the reader with opposite ending or ironical ending? My request is to just think about whether you can give some startling revelation or discovery for the MC which, as a reader I should not see coming.

Summary: Its a nice story and I enjoyed reading poetic prose. But the ending could have been better.

Hope it was helpful :)

Warm Regards,
JK
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