\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jllgant
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Fog  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a beautiful and very effectively written story. It quite honestly brought tears to my eyes and is written in a manner that I would like to emulate in my own work. The end is not at all obvious from the beginning of the piece and truly keeps you guessing. I might use the "hum of portent" instead of the "hum of deception" or something of that nature as it is not a deceptive tale, rather it reveals truth in my interpretation of it. Or perhaps a "hum of revelation"? I would also use a different word than "morphed" as it is quite a colloquial modern term while the story has a sense of history and grace. Perhaps "transformed" might be a better word?

The story is beautiful and full of emotion. It really paints a picture in your mind, which is why it was so easy to make critical comment on some of the wording. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jllgant