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237 Public Reviews Given
237 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by Joe Nelson
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I liked it, it was a very creepy story. It reminded me of a film I saw a couple of years back called "Skeleton Key" that creeped me right out! I thought the tension was well built, I particularly liked the idea of the old man coming after the protagonist in his dreams. It provided a fear of sleep, something that is natural to us all.

I'm never very comfortable giving criticism so I'm sorry in advance if I cause any offence.

The only criticism I can think of is that you seem to use capital letters a lot when its not necessary. For example:

"He carried only a cane, and a Blue Duffel Bag."
- The B,D and G don't need to be in capitals because its not a name or the start of a sentence. Also you don't need the comma in this sentence because you use the word "and" directly after it.

One final thing. When you talk about "wolf's" it should be wolves, otherwise it means your talking about something the wolf owns, like a wolf's claw.

Anyway, I hope this helped a bit and you don't find it too critical. Sorry again if it is.

Good story!

Joe.
27
27
Review of The Tooth Fairy  
Review by Joe Nelson
Rated: E | (4.0)
A well written story with a great twist! Reminds me of moments from my own life and just goes to show that sometimes our elders really do know best.
On a more personal note, I keep thinking I should take better care of my own teeth but I'm not so sure now. :)

Joe.
28
28
Review of Ode to Mithi  
Review by Joe Nelson
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm not usually one for poetry myself but I thought it was an interesting and powerful take on a terrible tragedy. I like the way you presented Mithi as a living entity. I also agree with your views on the world taking its revenge on humanity, something we'll all have to face up to eventuallly.

Made me think.

Joe.
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