I thought this was great, it's very simple without stretching the metaphors too far. There are a few places where the meter was off, it didn't detract from the poem too much, but it would definitely help if you fixed that. Great job on this and keep writing!
I thought this was beautiful, it sends a great message that often times, love doesn't have a reason. Beauty and flattery are superficial compared to true love for someone just for being them. The only thing I found odd were the questions like "Will you help me make it stay?" I thought they interrupted the flow of the writing somewhat. Overall, this is beautiful and shows raw and pure love.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joshcarrot
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:24am on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
