Hmm, I would say that this is written fairly well. But lacks, to me at least, any particular impression. I would say that it seems, simple, neither remarkably good or bad. I find no fault in it, and I believe you've conveyed the meaning well enough. I can rate it on lack of fault, but am unable to on merit I'm afraid. I hope you do not mind my candidness.
I'm not a very good judge of poetry to be honest, though I can say that I understood it's meaning and felt something of what, you as the writer, were trying to convey. As I said I'm not a great judge of such things, though I can confer that I did like it.
I loved it, I love poetry, and I really wish I could write like this. I feel I lack the experience and vocabulary to accurately describe, and do justice this piece, alas I don't read enough of poetry to give you a good review, but I can at least say that it made me feel, and that is what poetry has always meant to me, it not only makes you think, but allows you to feel.
I have to say that was well written. But for comedy the obvious intention is to make the reader laugh, and well done, I found it delightfully entertaining and you made me giggle a fair amount. I can't really point out any flaws as I didn't see any. But, I'm a novel person myself, and if this interesting perspective were ever put into a character in such a novel, filled with interesting stories and funny antics such as this, I would very much enjoy reading it as well.
Oh, that had an eerie feel to it. I'd say you have the right idea, though you may be rewarded if you tried rewriting it, there was a lack of detail that I would personally have enjoyed, the small things are what, to me, help create the larger picture, even in a short story.
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